Friday, September 21, 2007

When does it hit you?

When do you fully realize "this is my child"? Whether it is a child through adoption or by birth, does it take a while? Do you feel "it" when you first hold them? When you first see their picture? I've been staring at her picture for a week now but I think it hit me yesterday when I saw the picture with Rosa. I counted ten fingers (I couldn't see her toes) and started to cry. That is my daughter. I still haven't been calling her by name. She's "the baby". Because she's been "the baby" for over nine years. I looked at a picture of Rosa with another baby from Los Pisingos when he was adopted back in April and cried. This woman did so much for so many children in Colombia and families all over. I wonder if she knew the magnitude of my appreciation, as well as that of many others.

Luann told me yesterday the medical tests would cost $250 and wanted to know if we still wanted to proceed. I'm a little disappointed because I thought they would proceed after our conversation on Tuesday but I suppose she needed to ask about the cost. So I doubt the MRI has even been done. We decided that, at this point, there's no way we could say no, so on Monday we are going to officially accept the referral. I already have our visa packet and have sent in the form to the state to be apostilled. So we aren't too far behind the Anderson's, who actually heard AFTER we did. We're hoping to fly out on the 8th, the same day that they are. We will only be there with the Springman's for a few weeks but I think it will be great to be there with two other SD families.

I've washed all the baby clothes and started organizing what I'm going to take. She is just getting into 3-6 month clothes and will hopefully be in them for a while. So between getting ready to go and unpacking our house, we've had a busy day. We were supposed to go to a wedding in Highmore tonight but just didn't feel that we should take the time away. As I've said before, so much to do, so little time.

Yesterday was my niece, Hailey's 11th birthday. She is the youngest grandchild so there will be quite an age difference. Maybe my niece, Katie, that just got married...she's 22...will have a baby soon so Murphy will have a cousin that's close to her age. Otherwise, Christy better get in gear! :)

I hope all of you know how much we appreciate your support. We've had emails, cards, hugs, well wishes, much to be thankful for. I have a big "love ya all" shout out to my Internet friends. Most of these are adoptive parents; quite a few whose children were born (or will be born) in Colombia. This is such an awesome experience and these people know exactly what we're feeling, thinking, and preparing for.

I have to show you the family I married into:

I could let you think he dresses like this all the time but I suppose I should tell you it was homecoming. Nice, Shawn. Really nice!


Nicole said...

Congratulations to you! She is beautiful.
We were in Colombia April of this year and I remember the feelings you are talking was weird when I started saying my son's name instead of "the baby"...then it felt more real, and I still couldn't believe I was actually saying his name!
Good luck with everything and best wishes!


Starfish said...

We didn't call our son by his name for longest time - even after we came home. We definitely fell in love with his picture, but I think every milestone it "hits" you a little more. Like when you land in Colombia. And when they present her to you, and when you feed her for the first time - it just gets better and better.

You'll have to tell me who all the internet people are who adopted (or will) from Colombia - I can't find anyone!

Christy said...

I really wish I could help you out on the cousin for Murphy, but I think you better look to someone else for that ;) This also gives me more time and money to spoil my niece!!!

Rhonda said...

I remember the same experience. It was so strange to call them by their names. We'd always said, "The kids" or something like that. I think it really hits home when you see a face and have a name.

Karen said...

You can never get tired of looking at those first photos can you! However, soon you will be standing over her crib gazing at her sleep. I will never forget how nice that felt. I can't wait for you to have all those special "firsts:" first touch, first bottle, first bath, first poopy diaper, first time just snuggling in bed with her, first time just holding her in your arms and swaying back and forth. I am so excited for you and your husband.

OHN said...

I found you through a comment to Starfish...and just wanted to say congratulations and that your daughter is beautiful. You have many many wonderful adventures ahead, take time to enjoy each little moment. :)

cara said...

When does it sink in.....? I remember we had been home with Matthew for 6 months and I asked the same question. I read somewhere that it has sunk in when you your child appears in the dream as he really is. So I waited and waited I didn't dream about Matthew until this summer. Probably because he exhausts me so much that I don't dream much anymore. =) I still look at him with amazement and think WOW that's my son. Cara