Sunday, December 31, 2006

Friday, November 10, 2006 ~ Home study #1

We were going to the state football games in Vermillion, so we scheduled our home study meeting for Friday at 10:00. We left a little late and I had to drive really fast to make it to SF on time. I get that handy trait from my mother who passed it on to all of her children. I think the first two got the heavier feet. By the time she got to me, the heavy foot gene had been dramatically reduced. But I still tend to drive a little fast. Times like this is when it comes in handy.

We talked to both Karen, our SW, and Jamie, the SW from the Aberdeen area for domestic adoptions. Our first topic of discussion was the possibility of meeting the potential birth mother we had talked about. She said that the woman had only had one counseling session and was moving out of state. We have learned through our sessions that birth mothers who receive little or no counseling are usually the ones who reclaim their baby. So the fact that she was moving to the east coast and had received very little counseling was disturbing for us. Karen asked us when we'd be able to feel comfortable that the adoption would go through. We both said "when the adoption legally goes through". And she said that while it was still our choice, she didn't think we should adopt domestically. I was OK with that. I've waited almost nine years to be a mother. I'd be devestated if a birth mother changed her mind. I've seen people who have no right to be mothers get pregnant again, and again, and again. But I have to remind myself that it's not my decision who gets pregnant. Anyway.... so Karen met with the birth mother and told her that we had decided to continue with the international adoption. I didn't want her to think that our decision was made because the child was biracial or because we didn't like her. Tell me which child that we adopt internationally isn't going to be biracial? I just knew I wasn't comfortable with the domestic process. Our meeting actually went by really fast and we headed on out to Vermillion to the football games. I met my friends Jen and Ang fo supper at Mona Lisi (you really need to try it if you're in well as Chae's) and we spent a great weekend with our friends Rahn, Maria, Keely, and Kalla. Saturday, I went to an adoption fair with my friend Cara who adopted a year ago from the Ukraine. We sat in on a forum about adults who were adopted as infants. It was the oddest thing...the founder of the fair was also a speaker. She was also one of Rob's former students! She interned at the telephone company where I worked so I had gotten to know her as well. Her mom and her brother were there too. She's always been wise beyond her years and so mature. It was so nice to see her and talk to both her and her mom. The really odd thing is that the very next week she called me at work (not knowing it was me) to sell me a phone system! We didn't stay for the entire fair, but listening to these adults speak was great. Especially since I knew some of Chellee's story. The fair was in its first year so all of the vendors were handing out information about their agency. I think it will continue to grow.

No comments: