The cat is out of the bag...

The past two days have been crazy. When I got to work yesterday, I called my employer. I thought he deserved to know before the rest of my coworkers. So after I told him, Rob & I sent out our emails. Mine was short and to the point (very typical of me I think!) and Rob's was really long! I even emailed him mine so he could just copy it. So I was really surprised when I got his. I tried to remember as many addresses as I could but I know I missed some so please don't be offended if you weren't on the list.

We've had many good wishes and for that we are truly grateful. We know our true friends and we are blessed to have you in our lives.

Already the house has more stuff. Diapers, onesies, bibs, blankets, that big round thingie...We're seriously going to need a different house. This isn't big enough for the two of us and all of our stuff let alone a baby and all that stuff.

Billy is going to stay with Rob's parents while we're gone so we're going to take him over to their house for some play dates so he can get used to the new environment before we leave.

We've been asked about daycare so I'm throwing out the question "Does anyone want to babysit?" :)

Would you like the good news or the bad news first?

We'll start with the bad. If you live around here, you know we had a little bit of snow this weekend. But we had our INS appointment on Monday in St Paul so we drove to the Cities on horrible roads, snow, ice...because we didn't dare change our appointment. We got to our friends, the Shantz's, on Sunday afternoon and really enjoyed our time with them. Monday morning, Jason & Rob went to school while Ann & I went shopping. I did pick up a few pieces of clothing at Once Upon A Child that can go with either a boy or a girl. I also got a play thingie from there and two books from Barnes & Noble. Then it was time to pick up Rob at Jason's school and head to St Paul. We got over there and the sign on the door said that they are closed on Mondays. Now why would they have scheduled us on Monday if they are closed on Monday?! So we frantically called our SW in Sioux Falls and couldn't reach her. We then frantically called our SW in Minneapolis who tried calling the INS. They said they would not have scheduled us on a day they were closed. I kept saying "I have proof! I'm looking at the document!". So after sitting there for a couple of hours, she finally said that we wouldn't be getting our fingerprints done that day but we could go to Sioux Falls on Wednesday. Like we really want to take ANOTHER day off. But we really have no choice. Wasn't it just last week that I said things were going too smoothly?

So on to the good news....last Friday Karen told us that we were "in queue". Of course I had no idea what that means, but Erin said it was good news! We are on the list!! Yay!! So when I was on the phone with Karen yesterday I asked her what number we are on the list. She didn't know but said to talk to LouAnn. So I asked LouAnn and she said number 5 and that we should expect our referral at the end of April or middle of May. While we were in WalMart, LouAnn called back and said that she called Los Pisingos and they should have our application translated by next week and that we are actually NUMBER TWO on the list since one family got their referral and two of the families don't have their paperwork done. See, I knew it was a good thing that I'm obsessive and got that paperwork done! So she said while this isn't set in stone, we should expect a referral at the end of March or middle of April. Holy Smoke! That's a month away! After a few moments of being excited, it hit us. That's a month away! We have two stuffed animals and about five outfits! What will this child eat? Where will he/she sleep? We have nothing! We thought we had a little more time to get these things but I guess not. It's better to have it go quickly than to wait the 12-16 months (from the time our application was sent to the orphanage..which is NOW) like we originally thought it could be. So Target...here I come.

We decided to tell our families last night so that we could tell everyone else today. So I first called my parents and told them the story. Poor Rob heard it about six more times as I called my family members. He wanted to know if we could just record it and then say "please stay on the line if you have any questions". After we got back to Redfield, we stopped and told his grandma.

So today is the day for the world to know. It's been difficult lately keeping it a secret but I don't have to anymore.

A few side notes to this post:

1 ~ Congratulations to the wrestlers on bringing home the 8th place trophy from the state tournament this weekend. We are so proud of each of you. And also to the wrestlers from EPJ & Highmore. We may not be there anymore, but we cheered and prayed as if we were. TC, we knew you could do it.

2 ~ I lost my wallet last week. I really have no idea where it is. I had it on Monday at the dentist and didn't have it on Wednesday morning. I have looked in the freezer, the washer, the laundry baskets...everywhere. I know it's somewhere totally stupid but just haven't figured out that place yet. Unfortunately, my ID's are in there so I had to get a new driver's license in Aberdeen on Friday because I needed it yesterday. Little did I know.

3 ~ I somehow ended up on the wrong road yesterday on the way home. Rob was sleeping and I know I went through Hutchinson. I was on the phone with Erin when Rob woke up and said "Where are you?". I had no idea really but knew I hadn't turned anywhere so I must have been on the right road. Hmmm...what do you know. I wasn't! We ended up going through Litchfield and Grove City and then turned south to go through Cosmos and get back on track. I have no idea how that happened but it made me feel a whole lot better when my brother David said he's done it about four times.

4 ~ A dear man passed away on Friday. Mary and family, you are in our prayers.

More later after I spill the beans! :)

I'd just like to say...

I want my mom and dad to come home! :)

I'm not sure if time is moving fast or slow...

This week has gone by so fast. Every week does. Every day does. And I really haven't accomplished anything worth noting. Still not done with my laundry. And I've gained about two pounds. Casey's doughnuts really seem to be a problem for me. Anyway...so it seems like we should be receiving our acceptance information from the orphanage soon. That would be great, except our application hasn't been sent down to Colombia yet. Hello, people...we can't get on the list until they receive our application! I've been busy getting dossier info taken care of. When I was in Aberdeen on Tuesday I stopped to pick up my birth certificate and marriage license. I also talked to my doctor in SF (actually the nurse) to see if we had HIV tests done last year. We had blood drawn for everything else and test after test after test so I would have been very surprised had we not had HIV tests done. Sure enough we did. How depressing is it that we had so many tests done that I don't even know if we had an HIV test!? Anyway, the nurse said that I could send her the physical evaluation part of the dossier and they'd sign off on it. Rob knows a social worker and he's going to see if he'll do the psychological exam part. Paul is going to act as my "financial planner" and verify our net worth. He's also going to notarize Rob's request for a birth certificate and verify our legal names. We already have our fingerprints from the FBI. So we're pretty much good to go. Getting this dossier information hasn't been too hard at all. The whole process has been so easy. It makes me nervous.

Tuesday at my doctor's appointment, I had such a good conversation with the doctor during such an awkward (is that not a weird word?) moment. I won't name the doctor for fear that it could come back to bite him in the butt. He had a very strong opinion on mothers living off of welfare without making an effort to get a job, waiting to get married until after they are all done having kids so the government will pay for it, medical insurance not covering infertility treatment but yet the government passes on to the taxpayers the costs to support these mothers and their children (who don't deserve to be in those situations). So the whole exam went by really fast because we were too busy talking. Never thought I'd say that.

I'm really jealous of my parents being in warm Cancun while we suffer through this miserable weather. We had above zero temperatures today, though. I almost broke out the shorts.

I've been trying to find outfits for the baby to wear when we meet him/her. I just can't find anything that knocks my socks off. Shopping for clothes, I'd love for this child to be a girl. Paying for clothes, I'd love for this child to be a boy. There are just so many cute girls clothes out there. Of course I can't find anything for the baby to wear on that first day. Internet shopping just isn't cutting it. I'm on my way up to Groton tomorrow for regional wrestling so I'm going to stop at the mall and see what I can find. I know I don't know if it's a boy or girl but I just really want to find the perfect outfit. And I'm afraid that if I have to power shop after we get our referral, the mall in Aberdeen just won't have the right outfit.

Well, I better end this post for the night. Rob's at wrestling, Billy's lonely, and I'm tired. I've really struggled this week without Kramer. Billy isn't a snuggly kitty and I miss that so much. I dream about her at night which makes her be in my thoughts during the day. So then I dream about her at night again. I'm not sure why this week is harder than last week. It just is. I'm ready for this baby to get here so I can devote my attention to him or her. I can't wait! :)

The grandparents know!

We told our parents this weekend. Christy, too. I called my mom & dad on Saturday morning and talked about their upcoming trip to Mexico. My dad and I were discussing the weather and I asked what he thought about taking a trip to South America this summer. He talked about the weather (he is a farmer after all) and then asked where at in SA. I said Colombia. He talked about the weather in Colombia and finally I said "Dad did you hear why I said we're going to Colombia" and he said "no". I said "Rob and I are adopting a baby from there". And there was a big pause. And then he said "You are?" We talked and cried (well I did at least) for quite a while. My mom was at my aunt's house so when she came home, she got on the phone and I told her. By this time, it was after 10:30 and I was supposed to be leaving for the wrestling tournament at 11:00 and hadn't showered yet. So we didn't talk long. After the tournament, Rob and I went over to his mom & dad's. We talked for a while and then Rob told his mom "I got you a Valentine's present but I'm only going to give it to you if you can keep a secret". So he gave her a picture frame that said "Grandma and Grandpa's little something". I can't remember what it said and I even picked it out! We gave his dad a little Christmas ornament that said "Grandpa" and a bib that said "I love Grandpa" or something like that. I'm amazed that I can't remember what they say! And then Christy was home so we gave her a baby picture frame. And then we talked about it until 1:00. Way past my bedtime. Rob's dad ran in the bedroom and got something. As he came back out he said "I have the baby's first present!" It was a Green Bay Packers sweatsuit. I'm glad we told them but we still have a little bit of time before we tell everyone else. Hopefully the acceptance letter will come from the orphanage soon and then we'll know how long it will be.

In other good news, our good friends Angie & Wade had a little boy on Friday! I'm so excited to think that our babies will be the same age! So when we were in Target on Saturday, Rob was Mr. Shopper and picked out two outfits for Carter. He also bought a different stuffed animal because the one I bought was too girly. Neither of us is too into Pooh, but we bought a stuffed Pooh because he is so soft. Rob felt every stuffed animal there trying to find the softest one. We also bought a picture album so we can take with us. It's a baby one and the pictures go behind plastic. Then we'll be able to show the baby pictures of our family and Billy. At Target Rob kept finding shirts that were in the Toddler size that said "My dad is so cool" and I told him if he could find infant size he could get it. He searched furiously but to no avail. Thus, Mom must be the coolest! :)

Today has been rather lazy. I had to play for church and Rob got a fire call shortly after church started. We both got home about the same time. And we haven't done much since. I fell asleep for over two hours. I had to force myself to get off the couch and wake up. Otherwise I won't get any laundry done.

I'm going to get my paperwork started tonight for the dossier. At least our birth certificates and marriage license.

I'll leave you with two special moments from yesterday. My dad told me "You know, this baby isn't just your baby. This baby is for our entire family". And Rob's dad said "Now we really are grandparents". Both brought tears to my eyes. And my dad is right...not only have we been waiting for this baby for nine years, so have our families.

We received our dossier information!

Woo-Hoo, we're within six months! I received the email from LSS today. It was a pretty hectic day...lots of bills to be paid, checks to be paid for corn delivery last week, and a board meeting. So I'm peacefully relaxing at home. I'm supposed to be doing laundry.

Back to the dossier...we have to get another copy of birth certificates & marriage license, social worker's report stating that we're mentally fit to care for a child, a physician's statement stating that we're physically capable to care for a child, employer statements that we're employed, we have to state that our names are actually our names...I think that's it...and then have it all notarized. Good think Marcy is a notary! Then we have to send it all to the state to prove that Marcy is really a notary. We also have to include a copy of our homestudy, which is done and notarized.

These things all expire within six months, that's how I know we'll be there within six months. I'm really hoping it's quicker than that but that would still be August. We only started the process on July 30 so we have no right to complain about August.

So that's our big news of the day. Rob's home now so we're going to play a game. It's either cards, Backup, or cribbage. Lately it's been Backup. We're going to have to take some games with us to Colombia. Otherwise we'll go through withdrawal!

I-600 A update...

We received our appointment to be fingerprinted. February 21 in Sioux Falls. When I sent in our required documents and the money requesting to be fingerprinted, I sent this nice letter telling them where we wanted to be fingerprinted and which days we are unavailable. Never in the letter did I say the words "Sioux Falls". It generally takes about three months to get everything taken care of when the fingerprints are done in Sioux Falls. However, if we could go to the office in St Paul, it would take about a month. Three months from February 21 is May 21. I had sort of hoped to be close to leaving for Colombia by then. So I'm a little frustrated. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if we can get it changed. Cross your fingers...

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. We're going over to friends' house to watch the game. While I was always a Bears fan growing up, Peyton Manning has sort of grown on me. So I guess I'm rooting for the Colts. If the Chargers aren't there, I guess it really doesn't matter anyway.

I woke up this morning with a sore neck and it's been killing me all day. I've taken more aspirin today than in the past year and it just isn't helping. Needless to say, I'll be going to the chiropractor tomorrow.

February is a big birthday month in our family. So I'm going to do all my shout-outs today. Otherwise, I'll be about a month late. My family knows that so it really wouldn't be a surprise. I realized about a week ago that it's way past January 9 and I totally missed Denita's birthday. Sorry, man. So anyway...

Happy Birthday to:

Allan on the 1st
Sandy on the 3rd
Emily today (the 4th)
Dick & David on the 5th
Caitlin on the 7th
Brianna on the 20th
Pam on the 24th

Hope you all have great birthdays!!

Kramer loved getting in the dishwasher, taking a bath (seriously) and playing with toilet paper.

Oh the sadness of losing a pet.

Yes, we have lost another pet. I took Kramer in to the vet yesterday to have her fixed and have her declawed. I dropped her off and then headed to Watertown. At 8:52 a.m. the vet called and said "I have some bad news". You know me and my weird thinking, the first thought that went through my head was that Kramer was really a boy and not a girl and he opened her up for nothing. Wrong. He said that he had given her the anesthetic and she had a reaction to it and stopped breathing and they did everything they could but they could not revive her. I said "What?" And he repeated it. This is all while I'm driving. So as I slowly lost control of myself, I pulled over and bawled my head off. How could this be happening? Didn't I just go through this three months ago? I called Rob and poor Dawn answered the phone. I could barely speak but she understood me enough to get Rob. I ended up calling the vet a couple of times and also another vet that we'd seen previously. The receptionist at the vet's office said they'd been playing with her up until they gave her the medicine and she just was gone. I asked them to take off her collar and cut some hair and put it in a bag. The bell on her collar is enough to break me down. I feel like I just handed her over to him to put her down. I walked in and he was there so instead of kissing her and telling her that I love her, I talked to the vet and handed her over. At least I held Bob as she died. I wasn't there for Kramer and I feel horrible. I'm just heartbroken. I don't understand why God would bring her into our lives for two months. I know that life isn't fair but this just is not fair. Why can people have kids and abuse them and have more and people can have pets and neglect them and nothing happens to them and we can't seem to have either? Poor Billy. Even though she annoyed him to no end, he misses her. He isn't a vocal cat. But he walked around the house tonight and cried. We've decided not to get another cat for quite some time. Maybe even until after Billy is gone. Rob's dad bought a baby blanket and they wrapped her in it and placed her in a box. After I got home from Watertown, we picked her up and drove to Aberdeen and met my parents. We ate with them and then they took her home. The ground is frozen so we can't bury her yet. They'll keep her safe until spring.

Rob and a friend from school were talking about Kramer yesterday and he confided in her about the adoption. I'm glad he has someone to talk to because he doesn't like to bring his work problems home. And she's someone I really like so I don't have a problem with him telling her. We talked about it on the way to Aberdeen yesterday. We're ready to start telling people. As soon as we get our acceptance to the orphanage, we'll share the news. By then, we'll know how long it will be before we're PARENTS!

We took our pictures yesterday morning and our heads were cut off in a couple of them. So we're going to have to do them again in the morning and then see if someone in Watertown can get them developed at WalMart so one of the plant operators can bring them back tomorrow night. My goal was to have these applications to the orphanages by Februrary 1. Obviously that isn't going to happen. But we'll still be close. The ironic thing about yesterday is that Rob wore his suit to school and I had on my new outfit so we looked pretty snazzy. Rob kept getting asked whose funeral he was going to. Little did we know.

I thought I was the queen of Internet research. I've been topped. My friend Maria found our blog. I have no idea how she did it, but she did. She's good. Now two people have found it. I can't even find it! I can't wait for our family and friends to read this journey and post comments. I also can't wait to get to Colombia and be able to tell everyone what we're doing.

Well, I guess it's time to go. I didn't get anything accomplished yesterday so I better wipe my tears and get busy. Thanks for reading.

I bought my first baby item!

Over the past nine years, I've never let myself buy anything for a baby. I broke down yesterday and bought a stuffed rabbit. It felt so good! Rob says it's girly because it has some pink on it. I don't think so. Even if it does, our kid is getting the stuffed rabbit with pink on it. You know that feeling when you think/hope you're pregnant and you go to the store to buy a pregnancy test? The anticipation and nervousness you feel? That's how I felt yesterday. And I guess in a sense, while I'm not pregnant, I sort of am. Except my pregnancy is without weight gain, stretch marks, and labor pains. But I am counting down the days until our baby is here.

We're waiting to hear back about our I-600A. We took our passport pictures this week (of course I hate mine), Rob applied for his passport, and I'll apply for mine in Watertown on Tuesday. I also took pictures of our house and we're still waiting to take pictures of us. It has to be done by Monday night so I can get them developed in Watertown on Tuesday. Good news, though...I bought a skirt that fits! Yay! I was in Penney's on Saturday and they were having a big sale. I found the skirt and jacket that match my one pair of pants that fits. The skirt was $7.50 and the jacket (regularly $60) was $15! Woo-Hoo! I am such a bargain shopper! Of course, then I went to Target and spent $160. We hadn't been to Aberdeen forever so I had lots to buy. To make up for the amount of money I knew I was spending, I bought Target brand toilet paper, soap...It better be good. I even bought my own hair color so I can stop spending over $100 to go to a salon. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out so I'm going to do it quick while Rob's gone. Cross your fingers.

NO ARREST RECORD!

If you could see the smile on my face!! I tried to take a picture of the actual words "no arrest record" but the glare from the paper was awful. I called Karen, our SW, but she wasn't available. We're ready to go on the next step. I talked to our attorney friend, Paul. He said we should still go forward with the pardon just to get it off of there. I will, but no it isn't a dire need. We have more important things to work on now! :)

Thank you, Lord, for answering our prayers!

The Suspense!!!!

I called the FBI on Wednesday to see what the status was. She said they were mailed out on Monday but wouldn't give me the status. Of course I had to go home and get the mail. And there was none. BUT, it was shortly before 11:00, so I thought maybe the mailman was late. I had to run to town in the afternoon and there was mail, but no fingerprints. So today comes along and I had a board meeting. It about killed me to sit there all morning KNOWING the fingerprints were in my mailbox and I couldn't go get them. So after the board meeting I stopped at my house to get the mail. My heart leaped when I saw the mailbox wasn't quite closed. My heart fell when I realized it was only a memory card I ordered from EBay. So the trivia question of the day is "How long does it take mail to travel from West Virginia to South Dakota?" I know the answer is at least three days. It better be here tomorrow or I may lose it!

I have a friend!!!!!!!!

I know that probably seems odd to many of you, but I met someone ~ Erin ~ who is from ND and has adopted two boys from Colombia. She has been a wealth of information for me. PLUS, she's an attorney so we're trying to get this minor consumption issue worked out. Cara and I have bonded so much during this process and our friendship has grown tremendously. We have something in common that we'll never have with most of our other friends. But some of her experiences from the Ukraine are totally different from what we'll have to do with Colombia. So that's why I'm so excited to have met someone who knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

Thank you so much to those of you who have written letters of recommendation for Rob. They literally brought tears to my eyes. And it isn't because I'm an emotional person! :) They were very heartfelt and I appreciate them very much.

We hope to have our fingerprints back from the FBI this week. I talked to a man from the board of P&P and really had my hopes dashed. He said it could takes months to have this resolved. We thought that Rob could apply for an exceptional pardon since it has been more than five years. This would eliminate us from having to publish a notice in the Aberdeen paper to see if anyone has any objections to Rob receiving the pardon. But I found out that Governor Rounds does not approve exceptional pardons. So we have to publish this three weeks in a row and then wait ten days after the last publication. So that puts us in the middle of February. Then we'll have to send the application, letters from friends, a letter from the Brown County State's Attorney all to the board of P&P. They will then put it on the schedule. So if we go with this time frame, Rob would get on in March. He then has to tell the two person board why he wants a pardon. If they recommend it, he has to go before the five person board. If they recommend it, the pardon would go to the governor. The man I talked to said it could sit on the governor's desk for months before a decision is made. Well guess what....I started bawling. This is just so disheartening. If we would have known about this last summer, we would have taken care of it then. But I just didn't see that it would be an issue. So I called our trusty friend Paul, also an attorney. He had told Rob there is something that could be done on a local level. Rob had called the Brown County SA back in November and he didn't know what to do. So Paul is going to call the BCSA and see if they can take care of it. I keep telling Paul he owes me for stuff I've done for him for work. Paul, I will owe you CASES of protein powder and beer if you fix this! :)

Erin gave me lots of good information. They adopted from Los Pisingos. LP tends to place young babies (three months or so as opposed to five months) and will allow you to adopt three kids. Sometimes you can only adopt two total from the orphanages. She knows someone who got their referral six weeks after submitting their dossier! I'll go anytime. It doesn't matter to me. I'd rather have it be sooner than later. But I really want to be home in August for my niece, Katie's, wedding. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but I hope we don't have to even think about it. I asked Erin about not letting anyone see the baby and she didn't think it would be an issue. So that makes me feel better.

We had the dining out last night. Sure enough, the dress didn't fit. Not even close. I think the zipper was about three inches from closing. Rob didn't get home from the wrestling tournament in Miller in time, so we didn't take pictures, anyway. I'd spent close to an hour using the timer on the camera to find a good spot. PLUS, I spent about two hours sewing a red thing to tuck in Rob's shirt pocket for the dining out. Red is their "color" and everyone had to have on something red. Socks, suspenders, pocket thing (sorry I can't think of the name even though I know it's something I SHOULD know). If they don't wear red, they have to put quarters into the kitty. It's a guard thing. Anyway, someone had given me an old bridesmaid's dress to use for Halloween. I cut the inside of the dress just in case I ever need to use it. And pinned it and stuffed it in the pocket, repinned and stuffed in the pocket, got my sewing machine out of the closet and set up, repinned and restuffed and finally got this cute little red pocket protector like thing. I must say...I'm good. I think it would have been easier if I'd used a ruler or something. I just guessed. Hence all the repinning. Back to the diet...I'm one of those people that expects to lose five pounds in the first two days. I've been drinking shakes since Tuesday. I have not cheated. And I haven't lost a pound. This is why I fall off the wagon. I expect immediate results. BUT, I think my pants weren't so tight. I've been doing Gilad's exercise's. I'm pretty sore, too. I love doing "The Firm". But I don't have an hour to exercise. Of course yesterday, I did Gilad for a half an hour and yoga for a half an hour. Man, that yoga is relaxing. I need to get back to my acupuncture. You wouldn't have to read my babbling. Well, maybe you would. I would just be more calm as I was typing this! :)

Well, I have to go. I didn't get much sleep last night. Kramer's alarm clock goes off almost precisely every night at 2:30. Either she's being pesky or she wants to touch my face. With her feet or her face. Lips included. Needless to say, it's a little distracting to have cat lips on you. PLUS, it was so smoky at the dining out that she was in hair-licking heaven. I finally had to pull the sheet around my face like a hood. She even tried to get in there. I had to hold on tight. Rob went to guards. I missed church. And my parents are coming to pick me up to go visit my niece Hailey for Christmas.

Have a great day....

Happy New Year!

I'm finally caught up. I'll try not to do that again. Hopefully things will be interesting from here on out and I'll have plenty of good news to share.

Merry Christmas everyone. Best wishes for 2007. Have a safe night. We are enjoying being home. We're gone so much that we decided we'd like to relax at home. Of course that means I'll be sleeping by 9:00, but I'm going to try to stay awake. At least until 9:30. :)

Monday, December 21, 2006 ~ conference call with LSS & LAN

Karen had suggested that we do a conference call with our international agency, Lutheran Adoption Network. So Rob and I talked with LuAnn from LAN and Karen from LSS. The big issue was of course, the minor. She suggested that we to a set of test fingerprints from the FBI. If they come back fine, we will use those for the adoption. If they come back showing Rob's minor consumption, we'll have to get it pardoned by the governor. Any young adult who is reading this, listen up. What you do in your youth can and will come back to haunt you! So we had to get another set of fingerprints, write a letter stating that we are doing an international adoption and need these fingerprints back within ten days. With the holidays, I listed January 9. So hopefully the FBI complies with my direct wishes and sends them back ASAP. I just realized that I was supposed to track the envelope and I totally forgot. Shoot. Now I'm going to fret. If they come back showing the minor, the board of pardons and paroles meets on January 22-25, 2007. I talked to our local representative, Paul Dennert, and he called the governor, the board of pardons and paroles and really tried to help. I think the fact that they know who we are and know why we are requesting the pardon will help. So I sent an email out that same day to the very few people who know requesting letters of recommendation for Rob to receive the pardon. My plan is that I want to be ready with the application and letters if we need to use it. This is already setting us back a whole month and I don't want to waste more time by not being on the ball. LuAnn said that she would send Karen the orphange applications and Karen would forward them on to us. We are supposed to write our letter of intent to adopt and take pictures of ourselves. In a suit and dress. Anyone who has seen me lately knows I've gained 15 pounds so if I really have to wear a dress, I won't be able to zip it. I can pretend it fits as long as we don't have to take pictures from the back. We have to have a full length photo of the two of us and each individually. A waist up picture of the two of us and each individually. And also a head shot of the two of us and each individually. I wish I could use old pictures because I was skinny then. Now I have a big old butt. So I'm already fretting about these pictures. Rob has his "Dining Out" for his guard unit on Saturday, January 6. He has to wear his Class A uniform but he doesn't want his picture taken in that. And since I can't zip up my skirts, I will have to change clothes, too. So we'll complete the application and take our pictures (of our home as well) and have them ready to send in when we find out the results of the fingerprints. Once we send our application to LAN, they'll send it to the orphange with the shortest wait. We have three to consider: Los Pisingos, Ayudame, and Cran. She is still estimating 4-8 months before we get our referral. Once we receive the referral, we will take the medical information to a pediatrician in Aberdeen and see if he/she has any concerns. We will leave about two weeks after we get our referral. We will leave on Monday, receive our baby on Tuesday, and spend four to eight weeks in Colombia finalizing the adoption. She said the average time has been four weeks lately. We'll either go to the orphanage or the director's home to receive the baby. They'll talk to us about his/her medical background. LuAnn suggested that we video it rather than take notes. We'll take an outfit that we want him/her to wear and the nurses will change him/her into that outfit before they bring him/her to us. There is a very LARGE orphange donation. I'm not talking toys and clothes either. Right now it is a four digit number but she think it will go up soon. It isn't as if we haven't spent that sort of money at the doctor's office! Besides completing the orphanage applications, we also have to start collecting documents for our dossier: birth certificates, marriage licenses...apply for our passports, and submit our I600-A which is an advance processing application to adopt an orphan. We could travel to Bloomington to have our fingerprints done (yes another set) and it would take about a month. But it's wrestling season and Bloomington isn't like going to Aberdeen. So we'll request that we get it done in Aberdeen. Hmmm...what do you know. I just checked the USCIS website and it says that I have to go to Rapid or SF to get it done. I'll have to check on that because Karen told us we could go to Watertown or Aberdeen. Back to the passports, I already have one from the 1990's. One, it's expired, and two, I have no idea where it's at. So I have to fill in one extra form than Rob. Lucky for him he has a wife who is obsessed with this stuff. I've filled in his application (as well as every other form we've needed). All he has to do is take it to Aberdeen on Wednesday along with yet another check and hand it over. I'll do mine in Watertown on Wednesday when I'm over there working.

So we are getting closer. It's only been five months since we started this process. It has gone by really fast. I've been reading lots of good blogs of people who have adopted from Colombia, Russia, the Ukraine...basically any adoption is interesting to me. I just want to know absolutely everything there is to know about adopting from Colombia though. I'd pack my bags right now if I knew what to pack. I could actually do this since I plan to pack my skinny clothes. It isn't as if I can fit into them right now, so that would give me more room in my closet. Once again, I'm starting my diet on January 2. I've done that quite a few times over the past year but I only last about a day. I don't have much will power. I need someone like Ang or Maria to go walking/running. Hopefully now that I'm not driving to Watertown every day, I can stick with it. I just really like McDonald's and Taco Belle and Arby's. And coffee and doughnuts from Casey's. Now, do you know why my clothes don't fit!? :)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 ~ homestudy #2

Karen came to our house to complete the homestudy. Kramer was VERY excited to see her, so we had to lock her in the carrier. We did a little tour of our house. It didn't take very long. We had to laugh after we read the homestudy. She said that our home was well kept and decorated nicely. Decorated? My house? I don't think so. It's a rental. The walls are made of plaster. I'm not sticking one thing in those walls. Unless she was counting the pictures of my really good looking nieces and nephews. That must have been what she was talking about.

Anyway, we found out something very interesting. Our DCI fingerprints had come back clean. So we talked about the FBI fingerprints. She happened to say something about minor consumptions. Oops. What was that? Oh that's right...Rob had one almost seventeen years ago when he was eighteen years old. Well, at least one of us didn't drink before we turned 21! :) So now, we have a major problem on our hands. The Colombian officials basically consider Rob a criminal and won't let us adopt! This seems crazy to me for more than one reason. First of all, an eighteen year old in Colombia is probably legal to drink. And second of all, since it happened in Brown County, he was fingerprinted. There are many counties today that STILL don't fingerprint. But since he was fingerprinted, it will show up on his FBI report. Another thing that seems odd is that to work in the school, Rob had to be fingerprinted by the DCI and also the FBI. They both came back clean. But I guess there are three levels of FBI fingerprinting. The school level is the one with the most slack. The adoption level is the one where they dig deep. Karen recommended that we talk to the State's Attorney from Brown County and have it expunged from Rob's record. However, the current one is not the one who served when Rob got arrested. He really didn't know what to do. I emailed the governor and I got a letter back from him on December 12 stating that we would need to go through the board of pardons and paroles. Great. So we decided to talk to the social worker from LAN. I'll talk about that later. In the meantime, we have completed our autobiographies, Rob's physical and TB test, and paid more money to LAN. Always more money. But in the end, it will be worth it.

Just so you can all see Billy...

I don't want him to feel left out.
As you can see, he MUST lay on something. The bed just doesn't cut it.

Friday, November 17, 2006 ~ Welcome home Kramer.

We debated whether or not to bring home another kitty. Billy seemed so lonely so we thought we'd do a test-run. The niece of Rob's secretary had a kitty that was about two months old that needed a home. Her boyfriend wouldn't let her bring him in the house. I think he probably would have survived outside, but Rob didn't think so. I think he thought I really needed her. So we brought her home one night to see how they interacted. Billy ran up to me, smelled her, hissed, and ran away. I really think he thought she was Bob. When she wasn't, he was very disappointed. I think she has many of Bob's qualities in her. She is very pesky, she loves to play, and she loves her mama. We brought her home for good on November 17 but couldn't think of a name. Nothing really fit. And nothing really goes with "Billy" other than "Bob". We finally settled on "Kramer". If you've ever seen Seinfeld, she is definitely a Kramer. She stands on her back feet and sort of wobbles all over and she has this wild hair. She was used to sleeping in her carrier, so there have been many nights she's been locked in there in the middle of the night. She knows how to jump on the bed. She just doesn't like to. She would prefer to climb up the bed, turn around and go back down the bed...repeatedly. In the middle of the night. She also likes to play with the lace curtains on the window above our head. In the middle of the night. She LOVES to lick my hair. In the middle of the night. There is only so much hair-licking you can take. She also likes to torment her brother. At all times. He really isn't impressed. In fact, it's concerning. He stopped eating. started pooping on the floor, and throws up all over the place. We've been taking him to the vet and finally think we have the problem...he has always had a very sensative stomach. We think he's allergic to his food. He has developed allergies before with certain foods that he's always been able to eat. He still doesn't really care for Kramer, even after feeling better. She just wants to play with him and he just wants to lay on the blanket. I wish he'd turn around and get her, because she runs after him and bites him and he just runs away like a little girl and never defends himself. I've tried teaching him to swat at her but he doesn't remember how to do it. We are anxiously awaiting March 1 when the claws will be removed. Unfortunately, they won't file her teeth, which are extremely sharp. We're hoping she get out of that biting stage before the baby gets here. Billy will be fine with a baby. He's let Kalla hug him and kiss him and pull his ears and pull his tail and has never done a thing. His only salvation was hiding under the bed. She knew where to find him. She just couldn't get him out of there. Smart cat I have!

Friday, November 10, 2006 ~ Home study #1

We were going to the state football games in Vermillion, so we scheduled our home study meeting for Friday at 10:00. We left a little late and I had to drive really fast to make it to SF on time. I get that handy trait from my mother who passed it on to all of her children. I think the first two got the heavier feet. By the time she got to me, the heavy foot gene had been dramatically reduced. But I still tend to drive a little fast. Times like this is when it comes in handy.

We talked to both Karen, our SW, and Jamie, the SW from the Aberdeen area for domestic adoptions. Our first topic of discussion was the possibility of meeting the potential birth mother we had talked about. She said that the woman had only had one counseling session and was moving out of state. We have learned through our sessions that birth mothers who receive little or no counseling are usually the ones who reclaim their baby. So the fact that she was moving to the east coast and had received very little counseling was disturbing for us. Karen asked us when we'd be able to feel comfortable that the adoption would go through. We both said "when the adoption legally goes through". And she said that while it was still our choice, she didn't think we should adopt domestically. I was OK with that. I've waited almost nine years to be a mother. I'd be devestated if a birth mother changed her mind. I've seen people who have no right to be mothers get pregnant again, and again, and again. But I have to remind myself that it's not my decision who gets pregnant. Anyway.... so Karen met with the birth mother and told her that we had decided to continue with the international adoption. I didn't want her to think that our decision was made because the child was biracial or because we didn't like her. Tell me which child that we adopt internationally isn't going to be biracial? I just knew I wasn't comfortable with the domestic process. Our meeting actually went by really fast and we headed on out to Vermillion to the football games. I met my friends Jen and Ang fo supper at Mona Lisi (you really need to try it if you're in Vermillion...as well as Chae's) and we spent a great weekend with our friends Rahn, Maria, Keely, and Kalla. Saturday, I went to an adoption fair with my friend Cara who adopted a year ago from the Ukraine. We sat in on a forum about adults who were adopted as infants. It was the oddest thing...the founder of the fair was also a speaker. She was also one of Rob's former students! She interned at the telephone company where I worked so I had gotten to know her as well. Her mom and her brother were there too. She's always been wise beyond her years and so mature. It was so nice to see her and talk to both her and her mom. The really odd thing is that the very next week she called me at work (not knowing it was me) to sell me a phone system! We didn't stay for the entire fair, but listening to these adults speak was great. Especially since I knew some of Chellee's story. The fair was in its first year so all of the vendors were handing out information about their agency. I think it will continue to grow.

Sunday, November 5, 2006 ~ One of the worst days of my life

We've had our cats since October of 1996. We weren't even married yet. They are inbred barn cats from my parents farm. They were actually born in the house. Billy, inside the foot pedal of the organ and Bob, inside the huge console TV. Their mothers are sisters (from different litters) and their dad is also their brother, uncle, grandfather...Billy was born on August 6, 1996 and Bob was born on August 14, 1996. My mom did not want six babies and two adult cats (plus Roscoe, their dad, and Charlie, our original cat) roaming the house. So the babies lived in a big box until they got old enough to crawl out. Every time we'd go home, Rob would pick up a kitty and say "Oh Billybob, I'm going to take you home". And the next time we'd go, he'd pick up a different kitty and say the exact same thing. So when it came time to actually take one home, we decided to take two since we didn't want them to be lonely. So the first cat he picked up had been licking his hand incessantly. Thus, Billy. And the second cat he picked up was the runt of both litters and sucked on the tails of all the other kitties. Thus, Bob. I'm not sure how, but Billy became Rob's kitty and Bob became mine. She was a true baby. And I doted on her just like she was one. She started sucking on her own tail instead of Billy's and after ten years, her tail was no longer gray, but brown. The kitties kept us company, entertained us, annoyed us, cost us a fortune...When we moved to Elk Point, Bob went into such a depression that she quit eating and drinking and her kidneys and liver quit and she weighed one pound. I took her to the vet in Sioux City every day and he gave her IV fluids and kept her on a heating pad. The vet told us to take her home and make her comfortable. This was really the only time she liked Rob. It's not that she didn't like him. She just liked me. And Rob wasn't me. If I were gone for a weekend, she'd lay with him. But the minute I walked in the door, she was my kitty again. She survived thanks to Rob's body heat, cheese, and yogurt. She was so skinny that she was cold all of the time. So she layed with Rob quite a bit. She always loved people food. Enough that she could eat through an entire loaf of bread on the counter. She was the naughty younger sibling. I can just picture Billy saying to her as she jumped up on the counter every night after I'd gotten into bed "You're going to get in trouble". And I'd sneak out into the kitchen, catch her, and then chase her around to spank her. She knew when she was in trouble. But she knew how to love me. When Rob was activated, it was almost like she missed him. She wanted me to hold her at all times. If I sat down, she jumped on my lap. If I stood in the kitchen, she cried at my feet. She also slept on my pillow. No matter that my head was already on it. She just wanted to be near me at all times. So in September of 2006, I'd taken them to the vet to get their shots. Plus, she'd been pulling out the hair on her stomach for a while, so the vet gave her a shot to make her stop itching. Knowing that any change in routine makes her act funny, I wasn't too surprised when she retreated and pouted for a few days. But when she pooped on the floor, I thought it was really weird. Again, not weird was the hair pulling incident. She would get so nervous at times that she'd pull out hair on her body. Usually just a small circle. But this time, her stomach was totally bald. She picked at the incision from having her fixed until it bled. So after the shot, she did stop pulling out the hair. But she didn't stop pooping on my floor. And always behind the entertainment center. She had never in her life done that so I didn't understand why she was still doing this. I figured the first time was out of retaliation for being taken to the vet. So I have Bob pooping on the floor and Billy throwing up. He'd done that quite a bit since we moved here. So I went to the vet to pick up some cat food and told them about these presents being left for me. He gave me some pills to give them to treat them for anything intestinal. I started the pills on Monday. By Wednesday, Bob was out of it. She kept shaking her head and sneezing. I just knew she wasn't reacting well to the pills. So I took them both to the vet on Friday. Saturday morning, Rob had guards and I was home. She didn't get out of bed with me but I figured she just didn't feel good. Around 2:00, I went and got her and brought her out to lay on the blanket in the living room. I thought that being out of bed and in the living room and sun would snap her out of her funk. (I think that's my mom coming out in me!) Saturday night, I realized that she hadn't moved off of the blanket. Meaning she hadn't eaten, drank, or gone to the bathroom. I really started to panic, but couldn't call the vet that late. I called him the next morning and we met at his office. He told me she was dehydrated, her temperature was low, and that her kidneys were functioning at a very low level. He gave her IV's and I took her home and laid her in a blanket in the sun. I laid next to her and we slept for a while. She started to act more alert and would lift her head when I talked to her. But by late afternoon, she looked worse. Her heart rate or breathing (neither we nor the vet could tell which) was about 130 beats/breaths per minute. Rob was home from guards so we took her back to the vet and he said she was basically in a coma and had been probably all weekend. He didn't think she'd make it through the night. So we took her home and she laid on my lap, her favorite place. All day I'd been telling her that she couldn't leave me. But as the time drew near, a calm came over me and I told her it was OK. I said that I loved her and that I knew she loved me and that she didn't have to stay for me. I knew that she was dying, but I couldn't do it myself. I still held out hope that she would recover. Rob kept telling me "We can't let her suffer". So I'd call the vet and then chicken out. At 7:26, she stopped breathing. I knew right away. The vet came over and listened for a heartbeat and told us she was gone. We sat there for an hour. I just pet her and told her how much I loved her. I took off her collar and put it on a stuffed white kitty that Rob had given me once for my birthday. (He used a black marker and colored it so it had Billy and Bob's markings and we call it BillyBob.) Rob got a purple fleece blanket that we'd gotten as a wedding present and that she liked to sit on. I wrapped her in the blanket and laid her in a box. We called my parents to see if they'd make a spot for her with our other pets that have died. Since she always slept with me, I put her at the side of my bed and kept my hand on the box most of the night. I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up but made myself think of something else. At 5:00, Billy came in and laid with me. He laid in her spot and I started bawling. He had stayed away from her all weekend but the vet said that was very normal. I still felt bad for her. So I had to get out of bed because I just couldn't take it. I showered and got dressed and got on the computer to email my friends. Rob was going up to the school for a little while. He said to me "Promise me you won't take her out of the box while I'm gone". I told him I wouldn't. Then he said "Promise me you won't open the box". I said I couldn't do that. And he started sobbing uncontrollably. I figured out that he had opened the box and pet her. He said that she was so cold and hard and he didn't want me to see that. I promised him I wouldn't touch her. He cut some of her hair for me and put it in a plastic bag. When he got back, we went to the farm. My dad was in Aberdeen at a doctor's appointment but my mom had dug a hole for her in the little cemetery we have for our pets. They all have markers over their graves. We stayed for a while then went home. Rob had conferences for school that night and I hadn't thought about how difficult it would be me to go home. I cried and cried and finally cried myself to sleep. Knowing that Rob had conferences on Thursday night, I called my mom to see if she'd come to stay with me. Rob was really good and came home early on Tuesday and Wednesday and would go lay down with me until I fell asleep then would go back out in the living room to watch TV. Mornings are the hardests for Rob as Bob would lay with him for a little bit after I got out of bed. The entire day is hard for me as she was with me wherever I was. When I did laundry, she laid in the warm clothes from the dryer. When I showered, she waited until I was done so she could drink out of the bathub. Everywhere I went, so did Bob. And since I haven't had a child, she was my baby. And we both loved it.

I dream of her often. And I hold her collar. And cry. I know I was blessed to have her in my life for ten years. But I miss her so much. I just want to hold her again.

Billy is having a difficult time adjusting. He had never spent a night apart from her. He would walk around the house and meow and meow. I feel so bad for him.

We now understand how sick she probably was. We think that her pulling out her hair was because of something inside her and she just couldn't quite get to it. She used to jump up on the counter ALL THE TIME. She hadn't done that since we moved here. And she used to run around and act goofy quite a bit. She hadn't done that since we moved either. I also think this was meant to be, as hard as it is for me to accept that she's gone. She wouldn't have handled my leaving well. Especially for four to eight weeks. And she would have been so jealous of a baby. So we've accepted that this is God's way of preparing us for a baby. It all comes full circle I guess.