We have results!

Although we don't understand them. Yesterday we heard from the social worker that the MRI results were in but needed to be translated. She hoped we'd hear by noon today. So of course I've been on edge ever since. Yesterday after I got home from work I called the travel agent and put a hold on airline tickets. I should know better than to expect "tomorrow morning" really doesn't mean "tomorrow morning". By mid-afternoon we finally got the results that said "lack of fusion of the posterior arch of the sacral bone, there is no evidence of medular or sacral rooths malformations". It really didn't explain anything about the tethered spinal cord. So we requested the Spanish version and also the actual MRI. LSS doesn't have the MRI so they had to request it from Colombia. I have emailed the international adoption clinic in MSP but she isn't responding. So I called the local clinic and to see if they could help. They didn't think the response was very clear either. They're the ones who wanted the Spanish version and also the actual MRI. After I received the Spanish version, I also found an Internet based translator. This is what the original letter said (don't mind the words that don't make sense...they didn't translate):

The exam I am practiced in sequences sagitales and axial of T1 and T2 observing:

It lacks of fusion of the subsequent arch in sacrum. The height of the bodies vertebrates and of the spaces intervertebrates this conserved. There is not desalineamientos. In all the segments studied the channel oseo is of normal dimensions, the bag dural and the raices not not a single presetan alteracion. The holes of conjuncion are free. The articulations apofisiarias are normal. there is not compressions sacoradiculares.

The medula spinal distal and the structures of the ponytail have a morfologia and intensity of senal conserved. There is not focal wounds.

Conclusion:

It lacks of fusion of the subsequent arch in the sacrum. There is not central malformations or sacoradiculares associated apparent."

So, can anyone explain that?

What we did find interesting is that the doctor said she's 13 pounds five ounces and 23 1/2 inches long. My girl likes to eat! On September 7 she was less than nine pounds. So her 3-6 month clothes probably won't fit long.

Hopefully we'll know tomorrow!

Happy Birthday Keely!

We love you!!

Goodbye My Friend....

This has been an emotional week. After we moved, we noticed that Billy's movement seemed a little slow. We thought he was just aging. Plus, he started throwing up every once in a while, which wasn't really out of the ordinary for him. Last weekend we realized that Billy hadn't eaten very much and he seemed very weak. We thought he was weak because he wasn't eating. We started giving him Nutrical (which he normally didn't like) and he snarfed that down. He was drinking a lot all weekend. Rob started feeding him one piece of catfood at a time and he ate it. Monday I made an appointment at the vet and he told me that it didn't look very good. I was really surprised about that because he'd been drinking so I didn't think it could be his kidneys. It was. The classic signs of kidney infection are drinking excessively, depression, loss of hind leg mobility, and throwing up. He had all those, but we thought it was all because of other things. The vet recommended we put him to sleep. I called Rob and asked if he wanted me to bring him home for the night or if Rob wanted to come to Aberdeen. In the meantime, my aunt and uncle came to the vet's office and comforted me. Billy was still himself in so many ways. Just weak. So I decided to bring him home and spend the last night together. That night I did some research on the Internet and called a friend of a friend who is a vet. She recommended that we try fluids and antibiotics. We went through this with Bob in 2001 when we moved to Elk Point. She was so depressed that she got down to one pound. I took her to Sioux City on my way to work every day and the vet gave her fluids during the day. This went on for about three weeks and he told me to take her home and make her comfortable. So we did and she ended up eating Rob's yogurt and cheese and lived another five years. So on Tuesday, I went to the vet in town and got a bag of fluids, needles, and antibiotics and learned how to administer everything. He seemed better that day. Rob came home from work and Billy was laying with him. All of the sudden, the worst smell I have ever smelled came out of Billy's butt. Worse than anything that's ever come out of Rob's even. And Billy started meowing. Which usually means he was going to throw up. So I started chasing him with napkins. He farted again and bloody poop came out. So as I'm trying to clean it up, he ran away to another spot while Rob sat in the corner gagging. As you can imagine, that didn't go over very well. He kept telling me that he wasn't going to be able to do diapers. Like that's gonna happen. So anyway, after Billy was finished pooping all over, he felt better. Wouldn't you? We had a prayer service that night so when we got home, he still had a light in his eyes. He layed with Rob for a while and I went to bed. When Rob was coming to bed, Billy started walking (normally again) to the kitchen to eat. Oh, he'd started eating again on Monday night. All of the sudden he stopped and laid down. He was real wobbly after that. Rob brought him into the bedroom and put him on the bed and he started the awful meow again. So he put him on the floor and he quit. On the bed, awful meow. On the floor, quit. He finally quit so Rob laid him down in between us while he was getting into bed. As he got into bed, Rob said "Did he pee?". Sure enough. He had. And it soaked everything on the bed. So Rob held him as I cleaned it up and got new sheets and blankets. Billy didn't get off the bed all night and slept between us. Wednesday morning at about 5:40 he started meowing again. I picked him up and ran into the litter box. He couldn't stand so I held him up as he went to the bathroom. Rob came out and we knew he wasn't getting better. We cleaned him up and held him for a long time. I went to work and Rob stayed home with him. I called the vet at 8:00 and went home to get him after that. Rob didn't think he could be there. I came home and we cried and held him for a while and then I knew I had to go. So I drove down the road and as I got to the stop sign I noticed Rob behind me. So they gave him a shot that made him sleep. I didn't realize that was all it did so I thought he was gone. He came back in and asked if we were ready. He gave him the second shot and that was it. He was gone. Rob hadn't planned to go with me to my mom and dad's to bury him but then he decided he couldn't not be there. He showered and got ready and we went to the farm. We buried him next to Bob. We're glad we waited and tried the fluids. The vets had told us he probably wasn't in pain on Monday. By Wednesday I think he was getting there. So we knew we couldn't help. He was our cat. But he was Rob's cat. Bob was mine. So I knew exactly what he was going through. We wanted to hold out hope but we didn't want him to suffer.

So for the first time in 11 years we came home to an empty house. Wednesday after we got home from work we went for a long walk to stay away from the house. Thursday night we went out to eat with Rob's parents. As much as we love spending time with them, we needed the distraction from what was going on. And as much as I know they love spending time with us, that's why they did it. Rob went to the football game but I stayed home tonight. I haven't gotten anything done this week around the house so I really wanted to be home. I still find myself talking to Billy. As I went to bed the last few nights I said aloud "Come on, Billy Boy. Let's go to bed". And then caught myself. And on Wednesday when I brought stuff in from the car, I propped the door open and right away I thought "I better watch that Billy doesn't get out". At night I listen for the sound of his toenails on the hardwood floor or his collar on the water dish. I need to put away the litterbox and his food and water bowls but I can't do that yet. As I cried to my mom on Monday I said "these were the only babies I had when I couldn't have one of my own. They comforted me as I cried and as I prayed for yet another procedure to work". And she said "maybe God gave you these kitties to bring you to the baby. Now it's the baby's turn.". And my friend Marcy said "maybe God wanted a kitty". I'm pretty sure God is a cat-person. :)

We're doing OK. It's been difficult but it helps to know that he isn't sick any more. We also know Billy and Bob are together and that makes them happy.

There are good posts and not so good posts. Guess which one this is?

NOT GOOD! I found out yesterday that her MRI was scheduled for OCTOBER 9!! Yes, that would be 22 whole days after we requested it. Not a happy camper here.

I haven't posted all the details on her medical condition basically because I didn't want to type that much. She has a mild form of spina called "spina bifida occulta" which means that there is no hole on the outside of her back, just on her vetebrae. I guess up to 40% of people have this and they don't know it until adulthood and get an XRay on their back. Only 5% of those people have what they call a tethered spinal cord, which means the nerves at the end of her spinal cord are tethered in a ball. If that is the case, she would need neurological surgery to untether the ball. There is a chance it would grow back into a ball. This tethering could cause problems with her growth, her gait, and her bowels.

Yesterday I asked the social worker if they would classify her as special needs if she does have the tethered cord. We want her. There isn't any doubt in our minds about that. But the orphanage "donation" for a non-special needs child is substantially more and that is money we would need for the many operations she will require. I said that if we knew they would do that, we'd accept the referral right now. And she said that we should absolutely not accept the referral until we get the results back. To me it's just a delay. We can't make travel arrangements until we accept. So if the MRI is scheduled for October 9, they don't think we'll get results until around the 14th, which is Sunday. So I'm guessing the 15th. Which means we won't leave until November 5 at the earliest.

I wish they would have just done the MRI on their own before they referred her. It would have given the adoptive family much more information. But, like Rob said, then they would have had to pay for it instead of us.

So instead of being down there by October 1 like we had orginally hoped, she will be a full month older.

In other news, our new administrative assistant started on Monday and man, are my days looking better! :) And if we don't leave until November, I'll have more time to teach her all she needs to know. Or at least all I know. Lucky girl.

When does it hit you?

When do you fully realize "this is my child"? Whether it is a child through adoption or by birth, does it take a while? Do you feel "it" when you first hold them? When you first see their picture? I've been staring at her picture for a week now but I think it hit me yesterday when I saw the picture with Rosa. I counted ten fingers (I couldn't see her toes) and started to cry. That is my daughter. I still haven't been calling her by name. She's "the baby". Because she's been "the baby" for over nine years. I looked at a picture of Rosa with another baby from Los Pisingos when he was adopted back in April and cried. This woman did so much for so many children in Colombia and families all over. I wonder if she knew the magnitude of my appreciation, as well as that of many others.

Luann told me yesterday the medical tests would cost $250 and wanted to know if we still wanted to proceed. I'm a little disappointed because I thought they would proceed after our conversation on Tuesday but I suppose she needed to ask about the cost. So I doubt the MRI has even been done. We decided that, at this point, there's no way we could say no, so on Monday we are going to officially accept the referral. I already have our visa packet and have sent in the form to the state to be apostilled. So we aren't too far behind the Anderson's, who actually heard AFTER we did. We're hoping to fly out on the 8th, the same day that they are. We will only be there with the Springman's for a few weeks but I think it will be great to be there with two other SD families.

I've washed all the baby clothes and started organizing what I'm going to take. She is just getting into 3-6 month clothes and will hopefully be in them for a while. So between getting ready to go and unpacking our house, we've had a busy day. We were supposed to go to a wedding in Highmore tonight but just didn't feel that we should take the time away. As I've said before, so much to do, so little time.

Yesterday was my niece, Hailey's 11th birthday. She is the youngest grandchild so there will be quite an age difference. Maybe my niece, Katie, that just got married...she's 22...will have a baby soon so Murphy will have a cousin that's close to her age. Otherwise, Christy better get in gear! :)

I hope all of you know how much we appreciate your support. We've had emails, cards, hugs, well wishes, gifts...so much to be thankful for. I have a big "love ya all" shout out to my Internet friends. Most of these are adoptive parents; quite a few whose children were born (or will be born) in Colombia. This is such an awesome experience and these people know exactly what we're feeling, thinking, and preparing for.

I have to show you the family I married into:



I could let you think he dresses like this all the time but I suppose I should tell you it was homecoming. Nice, Shawn. Really nice!

More pictures!

The first picture is of Murphy and Rosa, the director of the orphanage who passed away last week. The second picture is of Murphy and a nurse.

No real news yet

We are still (impatiently) waiting on the pictures. I heard back from the doctor at the International Adoption Clinic in Minneapolis. She wanted an MRI and an Ultrasound done so I called the social worker back. She is going to call down and order them today. Hopefully they'll get those done quickly and we can get some answers. We'd like to be able to accept the referral this week.

A couple from Watertown also received their referral yesterday. So it would be kind of neat if there were three couples from SD there.

We are still not quite out of the old house. We just have to clean the kitchen and the basement. I seem to have a little problem with boxes. I thought we'd need some good boxes to use when we moved. So I kept taking them home. Unfortunately Rob broke down about 100 boxes tonight that we didn't use. That was like two whole years of hard work collecting boxes and it sort of bothered me to see them go away. What if we need them? They were nice, thick boxes. You don't just get them anywhere. He did let me keep a few Dell boxes and some HP. Otherwise, they're all gone!

I'm posting a couple of pictures here and the rest are going on the flickr page. Mostly from the wedding.







I guess they're all from the wedding. At least we look good!

OK, all the good details!

I've been trying to make the blog more "pink" looking, but it isn't working well since I have no clue as to what I'm doing. So I better stick to the story.

I'll back WAY up and do my usual babbling. We stayed home over Labor Day and packed. It wasn't an overly exciting weekend but we did get a lot done. On Wednesday the 5th we had help from lots of neighbors and moved all our furniture. We blew up the air mattress but by Thursday morning my butt was on the floor. Obviously I didn't blow it up enough! Or the other obvious answer...my butt is too big. Rob had slept on the floor beside the air mattress so I can't even blame him. Thursday night he decided I had enough air in it that he'd try it. That worked until the middle of the night when he'd roll over and roll off the mattress. So he just rolled all the way off and slept on the floor again. We moved the rest of the stuff on Friday. Rob had guards that night, Saturday and Sunday, so my parents came and helped. My dad did handy man projects for me and my mom unpacked boxes while I moved them to the new house. Rob and some other guardsmen helped move boxes over lunch and when they had a break. We didn't get everything moved that weekend but we've slowly been at it. I'm really quite tired of moving and could easily just leave everything else over there. I won't because I'm cheap and then I'd have to pay for something twice but it has crossed my mind!

I got the FBI prints back on Monday. The same day I got another hepatitis shot. I don't know which one. Q I think. I've had so many. They went to the state and back and then on Thursday I FedEx'ed them to Luann in Minneapolis. I left her a message and remembered that she was in Colombia. I just told her to call me and tell me she got the package.

I didn't have a great week last week. I was wrestling with some demons that really got me down. Scratch that. Just one demon. I really struggled with some decisions that I have had to make and still don't know what will happen. Wednesday night I went to the old house and sat and bawled. Thursday night I went to the old house and sat and bawled. Rob walked in and thought something was terribly wrong. Part of me is really struggling with leaving the old house because I feel like we're leaving Bob there. I know that isn't true, but it hasn't helped. Plus the OTHER issue has me so frustrated. This week was homecoming and Wednesday was "Pride Day" where the kids and local volunteers helped spruce up the community. I helped paint the fairgrounds. I'm not sure what I was smoking when I got dressed that morning but I put on my good jeans (the only ones that fit) and my nice jacket from school. Hello! You're painting! I know...not very bright. Rob's cousin Morghan was chosen as Homecoming Queen so that was pretty exciting. I had to work at an ethanol promotion day on Friday out of town and Friday was also the parade. So as I ran around like a basketcase that morning trying to get everything ready, the dam broke. The parade theme was "movies" so our float was "Field of Dreams". We used Rob's pickup and put corn stalks in the back and threw candy. I needed my flower pots from the loads of boxes that were stored in the garage. I was carrying a load that might have been too big and I tripped on a box and dropped the pots and cut my hands on the broken glass. As I said, the dam broke and I bawled and bawled and bawled. It wasn't the broken pot (it was a really nice pot, though) or the blood all over my hands. It was the aforementioned demon that reared it's ugly head. If I say what the demon is the demon will get worse so I can't say it out loud. I'll telepathically tell you though! In the end the ethanol promotion and the parade went fine. I had this wedding rehearsal on Friday night and then I got up early to go practice on Saturday morning. Rob and I went back to the other house then to shampoo carpets. Oh, first I should say that I tried the new coffee shop in town and I'm going to have to limit myself to once a week. So anyway...I had to get home and get ready so I left Rob at the old house about 3:25. There was a voice mail from Luann, which I didn't think was odd because I had told her to call me. She said she did have a package but what she was really calling was to tell us Congratulations on our new little girl! By this time, I'm running late so I'm taking clothes off while trying to listen. That stopped me in my tracks. So I called Rob's cell phone so he could come home and I think he was shampooing carpets and couldn't hear. So I was simultaneously listening and dialing. Luann said to call her so I did and she said that she had gotten to hold the baby and that she was very small and dainty and very beautiful. She has a mild medical concern that we will review with the doctor on Monday but we really aren't worried about it. I knew I had to get in the shower and get ready but it KILLED me not to check my email. I knew the referral was there but I knew it could wait and the wedding wasn't going to. So I hurriedly got ready and read through it. Rob got home just as I was leaving and he converted her weight and length and did some research on her medical records. After the wedding, I stayed at the reception for a while then called Rob. He said his sister was at her parents house so we could tell them together. It was 7:00. So I left the church and immediately started calling my parents. No answer. I had a little pattern going on...home phone, cabin phone, his cell phone, her cell phone, home phone, cabin phone... I couldn't believe it. Nothing. Until 9:45. My poor little cell phone didn't know what hit it. It was definitely overworked that night. By the time we got to his parents' house Christy was gone so we just told them. Rob went to poker night and I continued trying to call my parents. In the meantime, I went to the wedding dance and asked Christy if she wanted to go with me to get a drink. We walked to the bar and I got two real girly shots and said "Here's to your new niece". She said "what?" so I said it again. I had to say it three times because she didn't get it! Then she started to bawl which made me tear up. Rob was still at poker. So then I kept trying to call my parents. When I finally got a hold of them, I knew I wouldn't have much time before everyone went to bed. So after I told them the news I called my brothers, nieces, and two of my aunts. And my best friends. I knew I couldn't stay out too late since I had to play for church so I came home about 11:00 something. I don't know what time Rob came home. It could have been five minutes after I got home and I wouldn't have known because I was already sleeping. I went to sleep fine and slept all night. Until 6:00. And then I was wide awake. I couldn't think of anything else. So it was an early morning for me. After church we went for breakfast with Rob's family and then we went to Aberdeen for some stuff for the old house. Like ceiling tiles since I let the bathroom sink drip for Kramer and she pushed the stopper thing in the drain and it flooded the bathroom and ruined the ceiling tiles. And also the drain extender that was somehow ran over when we were moving. I didn't know it was right in front of me until I ran over it. Oops. So since we were there we HAD to get some girly stuff. Pink is a little overwhelming for Rob so I got yellow paint for the baby's room. I don't know why...I still call her "the baby". I guess because I'm not used to saying anything else. I haven't called her "Murphy" yet unless someone has asked me her name. Rob got a shirt that says "My dad's the coolest". It's really cute except for the smallest they had was a 12 month. He tried to get one in every size so she'd never grow out of it but I wouldn't let him. We came home and went to work on boxes. Our goal is to get through every box we have. Even the ones we haven't unpacked for years and years. So far we have for sale: a small window air conditioner and four bar stools. Plus about three boxes of stuff for the Good Samaritan Center.

I don't know when we'll leave. Maybe the 8th. Hopefully we'll find out more tomorrow.

I'm worn out and the Chargers are playing horribly. So I think it's time for bed. So that's the story. I'm sure I've forgotten something so I'll post again when I read through all of this.

Have a great week!!!

Introducing...Murphy Maria

It's a Girl!

This is going to be in bullets because I have too many facts to write them into a nice sentence!

* We found out yesterday at 3:30
* She was born June 25, 2007
* She was five pounds three ounces at birth, 18 inches long
* She is now eight pounds 14 ounces, 21 inches long
* I am QUITE biased but she really is very pretty

Her birth mother named her Maria Jose. We are going to keep Maria and name her Murphy Maria Elizabeth. Our social worker was in Bogota this past week and was able to hold her and take pictures so as soon as I have them I'll post them.

Rob and I are ecstatic. It hit us out of the blue and the rest of the day was a blur. I have to play at church today so I'll post more about the day when I get home.

I just had an "Oh No" moment

I was cleaning out my adoption folder today and realized that while Rob's fingerprints don't expire until October, the notary's commission expired August 8. So here we are with fingerprints that aren't any good! And last time it took me forever to get those prints back from the FBI. I just can't believe I didn't figure this out until now. I will be sending a letter tomorrow BEGGING the FBI to process his prints right away. I'm just SICK!!!!

In other news, my niece Katie got married on Saturday. It's hard to believe she's old enough to be married! I was going through the lunch line in 7th grade when mom called to tell me the girls were born. The kids used to stay with us every summer and I gave the girls 80's hair and blue eye shadow and scared them by driving with my knee and about killed them (well Kara at least) when she yelled "Does Grandma know you have a tatoo yet". Oh the memories.

Thursday was the grand opening of our plant. The day didn't start off well. I got up at 5:00 and it was raining. It turned into a really nice day, though. We had about 800 people tour the plant and the sun came out so we were really happy. I'm glad the week is over, though. I'm not used to working 12 hour days or getting up at 5:00! 6:00 is bad enough!

An LSS family from Brookings got their referral from Ayudame last week. Hopefully we'll be down there soon...if I can get these fingerprints straightened out! Why is it always the fingerprints we have trouble with!?!?!

Another interesting tidbit...

Our social worker in Sioux Falls quit and so did the director of the adoption program. I don't know the scoop and at this point, I just don't care. As long as someone gets me that call...

We bought a house!

Two posts in one day? Could it be?!

We just got home from signing the purchase agreement and handing over some moolah. Finally, we can stop renting and get into something of our own. Something without carpet in the kitchen and more than one level of living area! Woo Hoo! It's an older home in town, priced very reasonable, and the current owners bought a house so they are moving out in two weeks. If we get a referral we'll just move it all in and leave it. At least it will be in there. Rob and the school superintendent went through and figured out what changes we'd need to make. Rob was concerned we wouldn't be able to 1) fit a queen sized bed up the stairs and 2) fit the second set of living room furniture in the basement for Rob's "man-room". But we think it will all work. The only problem is the enclosed shower on the main floor. I might have to shower with the door open. It's already freaking me out a little bit.

Although we've been looking for a house for over two years I really wasn't prepared. We haven't gone to the bank or anything yet. So I have some work to do in the next few days. Like I wasn't busy enough already. I would tell Rob to do it but I know his reply: "But you're better at it". Of course I am but he could practice and then maybe some day he'd be as good as me! :)

Inching closer!

LSS had referrals from Ayudame! That's another orphanage in Colombia. So that means they are really referring children to non-Colombian families! Could we actually hear something soon? The thought freaks me out a little. We're back to how we felt in April or so before things shut down. Which, to be honest, wasn't good. My anxiety and OCD were out of control and even Rob was acting a little like me. (He could only be so lucky!) So thankfully I am WAY too busy at work to dwell on it there. It's just when I come home. We have a board meeting Monday, our grand opening on the 23rd, and to top it all off...my administrative assistant quit. She has a tribe of kids so it doesn't really pay to work. Yesterday wasn't too bad without her. Today was awful. I was trying to fill in some forms for the FedEx man and the phone kept ringing. I kept telling people "I'll call you back in five minutes". And the ringing wouldn't stop! So by the time I called them all back, it was time to go. How depressing is it that I would love to stay at work longer? And then I volunteered to sit at the booth at the Brown County Fair Wednesday and Thursday BEFORE I knew that Ashley was quitting. I'll either be ready for a drink or a nap when all of this is done!

Today is Bob's birthday so I'm really missing her. Billy is acting like a HUGE baby so I think he knows, too. Poor kitty.

Yesterday was my nephew's 23rd birthday and then my brother's is on the 20th. Happy Birthday to both of you! Love ya.

Well, I'm rambling. Just wanted to post about the referrals coming out of Colombia. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Back from the dead

I'm still here. Just nothing new to say. Until today! :)

I talked to the social worker today and she said that the representative in Colombia told her that the orphanages should hear from the ICBF tomorrow in regard to their questions. She warned me though that "tomorrow" in Colombia could be two weeks. She has also heard that another agency started to refer to non-Colombian families. With all of this information she "thinks" referrals will start coming in the next few weeks. She did say that we are on top of the LSS list so she doesn't think it will be long. I've already packed up everything and put it away so of course now would be the time!

We've been fairly busy. Rob started back to school last week. I don't think he was ready. But we had such a goofy summer. Waiting, not waiting, waiting... He's been in Sioux Falls for meetings this week and poor Billy is so lonely he doesn't know what to do. He'll sit with me for a while but I just don't cut it. Billy's 11th birthday was on Monday the 6th and Bob's would have been on the 14th. Hard to believe it's been that long. I think we're going to the lake this weekend. Last one before school starts.

Rob had guards last weekend that included a picnic and street dance. We actually got out in public and did something fun! Woo Hoo!

We did have an eventful day this week. I got home and could smell the grill. So I left the garage door open. Rob was already done grilling but I forgot to close the door. When I was leaving for work on Tuesday I noticed something red/orange was on the pickup. After closer inspection beer and tomato juice had been poured all over the pickup, in the gas tank, cigarette butts were in the windows and doors, and a garden hose had been tied to the bumper. With gas being so expensive, we wasted a half a tank siphoning it out and then filling in another $80. So there was $120 or so. Plus, Rob and his dad spent about four hours siphoning the gas, changing the filter and cleaning it up. The police came and looked at it and took pictures. THEN we realized that stuff was missing out of our garage. Hmmm...theft and vandalism. Nice. We're fairly certain we know who it was. It was pretty obvious but we can't prove it. But if we ever do.....................

That's been the excitement for the past ten days or so. That's about all I can handle. :)

Some days you just wanna go "pfftttttt"

Our adoption coordinator resigned. Yes, the one that I didn't feel had a handle on things. But at least she was sort of familiar with our case.

We've had a busy week. I had a board meeting Monday and came home to an 85 degree house. We've been saying for months it isn't cooling. Sure enough...out of freon. Air conditioning guy came over and it immediately started to cool off. I hate to say it but it's almost cold in here now. Rob golfed in Aberdeen all day on Tuesday. Rob golfed for league all day on Wednesday. Thursday we went to Aberdeen for the All Star football game. We had friends come from Elk Point so it was really nice to spend some time with them. We left the game early to attend the memorial service for the wife of a high school friend of Rob's. I know that even though it really isn't fair that I can't get pregnant, we're still very blessed. We've had our struggles but we're still together. We love each other and we're able to comfort each other. I can't imagine Brent's loss. I don't know that I'm an overly strong person. But I'll gladly give some of that strength to Brent, their four boys, their families, and their friends during this awful time in their lives. After the prayer service we all came home and Billy was SO excited! NOT!



Kalla just loves him. He just tolerates her. I went to take their picture and I said something about Billy not looking. So she held his face. It does make for a cute picture, doesn't it? She hugged him and kissed him and layed by him and layed him on her and carried him around and wrapped him in a blanket. He had so many chances to run but he either isn't quick enough or secretly loves the attention. This morning when she woke up she said "I want the kitty". So I took her to Rob and she laid with the two favorites of our house.



I know where I stand. I take the cute pictures. I don't know if she'll like the baby though. I held another baby once and she didn't like it. And she isn't even my kid!

So then after they left, I had to work. I didn't shower because I wanted to be able to spend time with them and not have to get ready. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and left. Looking really good. Oh, I did rat my hair quite a bit. You know, I am an 80's girl so big hair has never left my system. Work normally wouldn't be too exciting but we had a little celebration at the gas station in town. They just installed blender pumps (ethanol blended at 10%, 20%, and 30% along with E85). So from 11-1 we pumped gas, gave out prizes, grilled hotdogs, washed windows, and gave $.20 back for every gallon of ethanol pumped. Plus the gas station owner gave another $.10 back. So the E10 that normally cost $2.97 was $2.67. We had people lined up down the street. By the time we were done, I was exhausted. I went back to work for a while then came home and watched some Big Brother. Some of these people just really have to go. Billy must have thought Kalla was coming back because he didn't come out from underneath the bed until about 7:30 tonight.

Rob's great aunt died today. She only found out a week ago that she had cancer which is just unbelievable to me. So we will attend another funeral this week.

I know that you're all waiting for some good news when you read this. I truly think it will be at least six months. I packed up most of the baby things and took them downstairs. It was a little difficult but needed to be done. We really don't have room so until we find a house we just can't keep all this stuff in the living room and dining room. So until then you will just have to read about our totally boring life. Rob does start school on Monday. I don't think he's ready. It just went by way too quick. I'm going to a bridal shower for my niece tomorrow. That's about all the excitement we'll have in the next week or so.

Since I haven't posted this week, I didn't get a chance to say "Happy Anniversary" to my brother and sister-in-law or my aunt and uncle. And happy birthday to the tons of people in our family whose birthday's were this week.

Have a great weekend!!

Back to normal life.

Well the anniversary went well. We didn't golf. We pretty much did nothing all day. It was nice! We met my parents, Rob's parents, and two of my brothers and their families at The Flame at 6:00. We've had many wonderful wishes and we thank you all for being a part of our lives. Your support as we have gone through life in general, marriage, infertility, and now adoption means so much to us. These are the pictures of our day. Spent most of the day in my bathrobe. Then with my family. Then with our only child. You can tell he wasn't very happy. The last picture of Billy is him with his catnip lid. He loves his catnip. It must be like real pot. He stopped eating anything but the catnip. Until I refuse to give him any more then he'll decide he better eat or he'll be hungry. So he doesn't get too far away from the kitchen. He either sits with the lid right in front of him or he lays his head on it. Rough life, eh?

Nicole, your profile is set to "private" so I don't know how to get in touch with you. Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to hear of other people's good news!

Happy Anniversary, Babe!

Ten years ago today, I married my best friend. We've had our ups and downs but we are stronger than ever. And we're ready to start our family!

I spent HOURS making this video. My computer kept freezing up so I redid it like five times. I think I have one picture in there twice. Oops. You can see how we've changed over there years.

I know there are tons of pictures of Jen, Ang, and me, but most of our pictures are packed so I had to dig in boxes for quite a while to find what I did find. This way you can see my various hair colors and styles and how much weight I've gained! :)

I was supposed to have a board meeting today but it was postponed until tomorrow. So I have the day free to spend with my husband! We're going golfing here shortly and then will go to Aberdeen for supper tonight.

Love ya, Babe.

I found my wallet!

Five months later! :) I'll get to how in a minute.

We are a grilling family. During the summer we grill out almost every night. Until two years ago when we moved here. We left behind our grill because it was falling apart and had moved across the state and from house to house to house. We thought we'd find permanent housing quickly. So we didn't want to buy a nice grill until we had a house. Two years later, we are still in the same rental. We've had enough. Thursday, July 19 is our ten year anniversary. So we decided to buy a grill. Obviously I didn't know what I was getting into or I wouldn't have agreed. Saturday we went to Aberdeen and picked up a few things. While we were in Target we walked past the grills and decided maybe it was time. We had my car so we knew anything we bought wouldn't fit anyway. Sunday I played for church and we got home about 10:20. I didn't even make it in the house and Rob was waiting in the pickup (we drove two cars to church because I went early to practice). So we stopped at Casey's for a doughnut and drink and off we went. We went BACK to Aberdeen and figured we better shop around. We went to Shopko first. Nothing. We stopped to eat at Pizza Ranch. Then we went to KMart, Walmart, Menards, Target, Walmart, and Menards. Oh and then back to Walmart to exchange the grill cover we got. By this time, I didn't care what he got. I didn't care how much he spent. I just wanted to go home. My foot was killing me because I'd been walking too much, I was still in my church clothes, and I was ready for a nap. We got home at 5:00. We carried in the stuff we got and I let him take a nap for a while. We started cleaning out the garage about 6:00 and when he moved the garden hose roller-up thing, I found my wallet. I screamed a little and he thought a mouse was under there. I checked for money, but no such luck! We threw out stuff that we've been lugging around for ten years. My saving stuff habit totally went out the window. His dad came over and they started putting the grill together while I continued in the garage. We took the empty box and packing material plus two of the garbage cans over to his parents' house at 10:00 to the dumpster. We got home at 10:30. 10:30!! 12 hours after we left town to begin with! All for a grill. So tonight we were all excited to grill. Rob was a little too excited and things got a *little* done. If you know what I mean. He thought the 350 degrees he was reading was Fahrenheit. Nope. It was Celsius. :)

News that isn't so good.

We received an email yesterday from LSS. It seems there are 220 Colombian families ahead of us. Yes, that was two hundred twenty. Once those 220 have received their referrals we will be back on the list. Until then, LSS is not accepting any new applications for Colombia and they are recommending people who are already working on their documents consider switching to a different international program. So we wait. I think I can unpack the suitcase in the dining room. I also don't have to worry about missing my niece's wedding in August. Or anything else that will happen this year. They don't expect these 220 families to receive their referrals for several months. So it looks like it will be 2008 for us. I hope so at least. It's really a letdown but I know there isn't one thing I can do about it.

We've had some visitors this week. My nephew is hauling grain for a farmer near town so he's been here all week. Our friend Jason was here with his son for a funeral so we watched Jacob while Jason was at the prayer service. Billy just really isn't thrilled with the whole baby idea. Plus, we moved the ironing board out of the extra bedroom since Collin is staying here and now Billy doesn't have anywhere to lay. I'm not sure why he likes to be under the ironing board but he does. So he hid under the bed the whole time Jacob was here.

Totally changing subjects here...I'm going to be a little political. I've always been for the death penalty. On Wednesday night South Dakota executed it's first prisoner since 1947. It even made CNN. http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/12/sd.execution.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch Wednesday when I came home from work, I read the Argus and started feeling really funny. I think I'm a little sensative about death this week because today would have been my cousin's 38th birthday. So as I read the coverage, I started crying and praying for this man. I prayed that he is remorseful and had asked God to forgive him. I prayed for his family and the family of the man he killed. And I began to question whether I really agreed with the death penalty. It was a little weird for me. Thinking I'd always believed one way and then wondering if I actually knew what I thought. There hasn't been a death penalty case that I've been familiar with or knew of since the murder happened (one of Rob's friends from high school worked on his defense during his initial trial). I've had people tell me "you can't be against abortion and be for the death penalty". Yes I can. I can't get pregnant. The only way that I can be a mother is for a woman who decides not to parent her child to carry that child full term and place that child for adoption. If I could take the child out of her womb and carry him or her myself, I would. But I can't. For those of you out-of-staters, SD also made CNN this year in regard to abortion. http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/03/06/sd.abortion/index.html?iref=newssearch So this week, I'm sad for Elijah Page. I'm sad for his family. For Chester Poage and his family. For the people directly involved in his execution. I can't imagine what they felt. But I still don't quite know where I stand in regard to the death penalty. How do you all feel? Blogger has this new "polls" tool. So my first ever poll is whether you're for or against the death penalty. I don't mean for this to get into a heated debate. But I would like to hear your opinions. You can also leave comments. Not just about the death penalty either! :) Hint, hint!

Never run in church!

How many times were we told that growing up? Then how is it that today, I ran in church and broke my toe? Did I not listen to my mother growing up? I had to play at the Methodist church and I was there early to practice. I was trying to figure out how loud to play so I put my books on the keys (which made an awful sound) and then ran through the pews to the middle of the church to see what it sounded like. This went on for about five minutes until I kicked a pew. And that's the volume we sang at today because I wasn't doing it again. I've stubbed my toe before but this is nothing like just a simple stub. My poor pinky toe is black and blue and swollen. And it HURTS! I came home and told Rob "I broke my toe" and I know he thought I was just exaggerating. Until he looked at it. He should believe me when I say these things! I haven't done much else today...slept for about 2 1/2 hours this afternoon, watched some TV. I guess that's it.

Yesterday we went to Highmore and golfed in the Kusser Open. It was 106 degrees and I put sunscreen (SPF 30) on about every hour. Our team was the NSU Wolves (I was the only Coyote there but since I took one class at Northern one summer I qualified) and we golfed with the Mount Marty Lancers. Neither of our teams won but of course we had a good time.

We spent the 4th at the lake with my parents, brother and sister-in-law, and some of the nieces and nephews. Rob ran into some trouble that day. He likes to take the jet ski out. Whether it's by himself or with the kids. (They're in their 20's so they really aren't kids.) So Wednesday he went out by himself and didn't come back and didn't come back. We sent Corey out on another jetski to look for him and Corey said he saw the jetski at someone's house so he came back. Which was really odd because I should have known Rob wouldn't have gone to that house...he doesn't know them well enough to stop by for a visit. Pretty soon we saw someone swimming and pulling a jetski behind him. Sure enough. It was Rob. Corey went over there and pulled him in. He'd been swimming for an hour and half. He hadn't done anything fun yet and the jetski quit. So he swam all the way across the lake pulling the jetski. I would have left it and swam to someone's house but he was afraid someone would take it. He tried to flag people down as they boated by but no one stopped. So of course I felt horrible that he'd been out so long and we hadn't gone to find him. He got his exercise for the day and has a nice sunburn on his face.

I keep thinking "this will be our last holiday without kids". And then the next holiday rolls around. So the next official holiday is Labor Day. That means we need to hear something by the end of July to leave in August. Will we make it?

I did get my fingerprints back. And I have the employment verifications done, the doctor has our health certificate, and I have an email ready to go to the psychologist. Those should all be on their way to MN late this week. I have to send them to the state to be apostilled first but I usually get those back right away. And then if we have to redo them again in six months, I'm not going to be a happy camper. We thought we'd have our referral and be home by now. Another six months will drive me crazy!

I added some pictures. There isn't a whole lot on there but I want to have something ready when we get the call. I don't think I'll be thinking about pictures until it's too late.

ALMOST a hole in one!

Yes, it's true. I came within FEET of having a hole in one yesterday. Rob would have had a heart attack had I actually gotten it. He's been golfing for YEARS and he's never had one. So here I am, not a very good golfer, and it rolled right over the hole. I know that "almost" really doesn't count but this will probably be my one shining moment in golf so I'm going to hold onto it for a very long time! :)

Ack! I'm getting old!

Am I my mother's daughter or my father's daughter? I went to the chiropractor this week and told him that I'd been running and my knees hurt really bad. So he had me take off my shoes and socks and looked at the way I walk and stand. He told me two very disturbing things:

1 ~ He said "I see you're developing some bunions there". I AM NOT! Believe me. I check out my feet way more than necessary to see if this is happening. Thanks, Mom.

2 ~ He said "I think you need inserts in your shoes". I might agree with this one. Thanks, Dad.

So am I getting old or these the bad traits passed on to me? It does explain a little though. When I was in junior high and high school I played basketball and ran track and cross county. Every time I particpated in something, my knees hurt. Bad. I'd end up limping around wondering why I couldn't cut it. My brother and best friend were outstanding runners. I was decent but not as good as them. For a while hearing "Hmmm, I thought you'd be a better athlete" made me want to keep running. Surgery really didn't help. It made it worse. Knee braces didn't help either. I know the track/cross county coach just thought I was a wimp. My basketball coach was just a jerk so the fact that he went out of his way to make me feel worthless shouldn't have surprised me. By the time I quit, I really couldn't stand the pain anymore and was tired of the comparisons. I understand teachers have favorites. But teachers/coaches who go out of their way to make a student feel stupid and intimidated don't deserve to be either a teacher or a coach. ANYWAY, the chiropractor said I've probably walked this way my entire life which has caused some funky things with my knees and the stress fracture I had in my leg when I was 14. Finally, I had justification that my knees really did hurt. I wasn't faking it. So now, at 34, I'm going to have to pay attention to how my foot moves from heel to toe. Plus, I feel like I'm walking pigeon-toed trying to keep my left leg straight. So if you see me walking down the street and I'm tripping all over myself, don't be surprised. One of the many good things to adoption is that my poor kids can't inherit my high forehead, my fine hair, my wide hips, my non-bunions, or the breast cancer that seems to be prevalent in our family! :)

I'm starting to dream about other bloggers. The other night I dreamed that Erin and I went to New York to visit Starfish and while we were flying, Elle called me. We stayed in a fancy hotel somewhere in New York. Erin brought her briefcase and worked and I accompanied kids practicing for the band contest. And we flew home the next day. I'm not sure of the purpose of the whole trip. But I usually can't explain my dreams to begin with.

I had to redo my FBI prints for our dossier. Everything expires in six months. Even our birth certificates. I know. It's goofy. So just in case I've been out in the past six months getting arrested, I had to redo my prints. They expire July 8. The rest of the stuff doesn't start expiring until August so if we don't hear soon I'll have to redo that stuff, too. So my prints are in West Virginia at the FBI. When I get them back they have to be notarized and apostilled and sent to the social worker in MN. Then down the Colombia. This time I made sure to write in BIG letters "INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION". I won't make that mistake again.

I did get my hair cut. So far it hasn't helped with the referral process. BUT in my mind, I've calculated the days out and think the orphanage board will meet this week. Whether or not we get a referral, who knows. In the meantime, it's constantly on my mind. By next week and we haven't heard anything, I'll be OK until the end of July. Then I'll move into "is it this week" paranoia.

So unless I have some really good news to share, I don't know that I'll post again before the 4th. Have a great holiday everyone and keep your fingers crossed!

Random thoughts...

Remember back in March when I posted about getting my hair cut? It hasn't been cut since. I kept thinking that we'd be getting our referral soon and I wanted to get it cut and colored right before we left. So 11 weeks later, I need my hair cut BAD. The only thing that saves me is that, for the most part, I generally don't care what my hair looks like. Everybody who knows me knows I CAN fix my hair. That counts, right? Now that I think about it, maybe I SHOULD cut my hair. That might lead to a referral. Not getting my hair cut hasn't worked.

I went to Fargo Saturday with my parents for the air show. It was interesting. You couldn't pay me enough to get in those airplanes and my dad would pay any amount of money to get in one. I was a little freaked out that one was going to crash right into me. The thought crossed my mind that if I faced the opposite way of the plane coming at me and kneeled on the ground with my hands over my head, I might be saved. Sort of like the tornado position. For a second I thought it might work. This thought soon left my mind as I realized my skin was getting sun burned. I put sunscreen on but it didn't help. I'm burned. No doubt about it. I even had to borrow my mother's nylons for church this morning because I brought a skirt to wear and my sock line and sandals made me look like an idiot. I thought I'd be safe with booties that don't go any higher than my shoes. Yeah. Still look like an idiot.

Since I was in Fargo, I finally got to meet the infamous Erin of Viva La Colombia! :) And Michael. My parents were there too. We've talked many times on the phone and lots of emails but never actually in person. It's funny how I meet all these people on the Internet and may never meet them in person. So it was really nice to actually meet her and have her tell my parents some things about her adoptions and the time they spent in Colombia.

We spent the afternoon at my brother and sister-in-laws house for Father's Day. I often wonder if Father's Day is as difficult for Rob as Mother's Day has been for me. Surprisingly, I've never asked him. I suppose it's a random thought that enters my mind when he's not with me and by the time I see him again the thought is gone. I have bawled and dreaded Mother's Day for many years and I'm hoping this was the last one.

OK, I'm done for the day. Off to watch Tiger and the US Open. I remember as a little girl watching Tom Kite golf on TV and trying to keep score. That's a great idea unless you've never golfed in your life. It totally confused me so I gave up on golf. Now that I'm getting to be so good, golf on TV is actually fun to watch! :) After I become a master at golf, I'll take up NASCAR. Someday I might find that as exciting as golf!

Has it been a whole week?!

I guess that's a good thing. We've been pretty busy since my last post. We've been golfing quite a bit this past week. I had my best score EVER yesterday. It was a 70 but it was still my best score. I think golf courses should only be six holes because my game goes really downhill those last three holes. It's like bowling. I do OK for the first two games. The last one is awful. Back to golf...I had a 12 and a ten so just think what I would have had without those two bad holes. If I can average seven per hole, I'm pretty happy. Except I forgot my clicker thing in my coat pocket. I can't count (namely because I hit so many times) so Rob has to help me with my score.

Rob is an Atlanta Braves fan and I'm a Minnesota Twins fan so we drove to Minneapolis on Tuesday for the game. Our friend Jason went with. We had "cheap seats" (really cheap at $9 per ticket since it was Half Priced Tuesday!) but we had a good time. Rob walked in wearing his Braves jersey and started getting heckled. I followed right behind in my Twins jersey and the guys started laughing and said "It's a divided household!". The Twins won (they swept 'em!) so I was happier than Rob. We wished we could have stayed longer to visit the Diaz's, who just brought their daughter Olivia home from Colombia. But work (and a 4 1/2 hour drive) was calling. It was pretty much the quickest trip to Minneapolis I've ever had.

Rob left today for summer camp for guards. Two weeks. The first year we were dating (1995), this was very difficult for me. We didn't see each other every day but generally talked every day. So going two whole weeks without talking to him about killed me. Since then (and having spent eight months apart while he was on active duty) I've learned to enjoy my alone time! Especially when I get the entire bed to myself! When he was gone for so long, I learned to sleep in the middle of the bed. Billy and Bob snuggled up next to me. All night. So I'd wake up and move to one side or the other. And they'd follow me. So when I'd wake up the next time, I'd pick up my legs and move back over to the other side. When Rob came home, he didn't find this very amusing. Bob slept with me every night. All night. But Billy generally moves from the couch to the bed to under the bed to the guest bed. So now I just have Rob to deal with. My goal is to someday have a king size bed. Actually my goal before that is to find a decent house that has a large enough bedroom to fit a king size bed. Truthfully, I'd just go for a decent house.

My "no news" weekly update

What do you know...no news. I'm not sure how I'll react when we actually do get our referral. I always said that I was so used to negative pregnancy tests I didn't know what I'd do if it actually turned out positive. That's sort of how I feel now. I'm just getting used to every month going by and not hearing anything. I do have a lot going on so that keeps my mind off it.

We got a car this week. Well, it's not a car. But it sure isn't a van. Sorry to any of you van drivers but never, ever in my life will I drive a mini van. (Just watch, that will be my next vehicle.) But, I think I got something that's pretty close. Much trendier though. It's a Chrysler Pacifica. And still not a van. (Can you tell I'm not a van fan?) It was delivered last night so I've been in it long enough to program my radio stations.

We're supposed to get this huge storm tonight. Like the 19 inches of rain we got in May weren't enough. Rob's at golf and I'm starting to get a little panicky. The weather predictors are saying tornados and softball sized hail. I blame my brothers for much of the reason I am the way I am (throwing rocks at me and spitting on me while waiting for the school bus had to have done some damage, right?). I also blame them for my fear of the dark and storms. Every time it rains I'm sure a tornado is coming and is going to take me away. Since I know I wouldn't be able to get the cats in a few seconds and run to the basement, I tend to put the cats in the carrier and sit on the basement steps just waiting for the storm to hit. I haven't done that yet but I am starting to freak out wondering if we have lightening rods on the house.

Caught!

We know who the saran wrapping culprit is. Well, we're fairly certain. Two things clued us in. 1 ~ Said individual had to stay after school that day (on the last day of school, mind you) and 2 ~ one of said individual's parents is in a business where he/she uses industrial size saran wrap. I'm sure said individual had help. Rhonda...you've been saran wrapping before. Can you do it alone? BTW, your parents live in Iowa. Is that where you grew up? Iowa must have been a step ahead of South Dakota in the rebel department when we were growing up because I've never heard of it!

Still no news. I do know a family from LSS received their referral from Los Pisingos in the past few days. She was adopted from LP herself so I'm sure that's why they heard something so quick. So we probably won't hear anything until late June at the earliest. We're getting dangerously close to Katie's wedding on August 25. We'll have to hope for a speedy court.

We've been Saran Wrapped!

Aren't you jealous? Yesterday was the last day of school so SOMETHING had to happen. Rob went to golf and I went to bed about 10:00. Right after "Lost". I'm still not sure what to think of that one. Anyway, I didn't notice anything suspicious. Rob got home about 1:00. I went to work at 6:50 or so and the entire pickup had been Saran Wrapped.

We've been pretty lucky. We've had some youthful pranks pulled on us but nothing too bad. While we were in Highmore, we were toilet papered twice in two nights and had some lawn ornaments disappear during Christmas break. They ended up outside the wrestling room door the next morning. When we lived in Elk Point some kids were going to scare us on Halloween. The neighbor tipped us off and Rob ended up scaring them. Over Christmas break this year Rob went out the front door and found that almost every possible sign in town had been placed in our yard. For Sale, locate flags...you name it. So Saran Wrap just fits right in.

Typos

I have this obsession with typos. I don't know why. I blame my English teacher. Journalism class (not as much English) was my favorite class. When Rob and I were dating I was in school in Vermillion and Rob was already working and living in Redfield. He'd send me cards. Rob has this funky thing about poems. He always writes a poem. They don't make sense but they're very lovable. One time he needed something that rhymed with "air" and he couldn't think of anything. So he wrote "so I'll go cut my hair". Yeah...doesn't make sense but that's OK. It's the thought, right? So anyway, he'd send me cards and I'd correct his spelling. I couldn't help it. It was just SO obvious! Couldn't he see those mistakes?! He told me that if I ever corrected him again he'd never send me another card. Well that solved that. Not the spelling part. Just the correcting. I know that I put in extra commas and start sentences with "and" when I type. So I should not be throwing stones, right? Perfect example: the other day I wrote about the baby shower. I usually proofread everything I post. But you know when you write something you can read it ten times and it looks right. You hand it in (or post in this case) and what do you know? There's a typo. So I did proofread. But I missed something. Rob called me yesterday while I was home for dinner. He said "What word does 'W O H' spell?" I asked if that was the beginning of the word and he said "No. That's the entire word". I thought he was reading something at school and needed my help. So I said "Waa?" I didn't know what it meant but thought it might be some educational thing. He said "I'd like to thank all woh attended." I figured it out. I had a typo. So we hung up. About two minutes later he called back and said "I have a good knock-knock joke but you have to tell me 'knock-knock'". So I said "knock knock" and he said "woh's there?" He's so funny. Needless to say, I have edited the post so this is the only evidence it was ever there!

There's a blog that I read that I really enjoy. I think the counter on her blog went up dramatically when I started reading because I check for new posts several times a day. The posts are that good that I think she should post several times a day. I think she's a lot like me. Although she doesn't hold anything back. I'm more reserved on my blog. The point of my story is that she never has typos. She's very articulate. However, this disease I have hasn't fully gone away. Twice I've found typos. And they were good ones. I laughed and laughed. So Elle, even though I give you a bad time, I'm really not making fun of you. They're just such good typos I can't pass it up! And if you want to make fun of me about the "woh" let me have it. It isn't as good as yours but Rob's response made it funny.

You've probably all figured out I'm having a better week than last week. Last week I was just CONSUMED with freak-out-ness. I'm calmer this week. I don't know why. Lots going on, I think. The shower. Graduation tomorrow. Graduation parties that last three days. A new baby kitty to care for. One of the girls I work with has an abandoned kitty that we've been caring for. She's about three weeks old and is just the cutest thing. She sleeps in a box during the day then wakes up around noon. We feed her from a medicine dropper. Amy supervises while I hold her and Ashley feeds her. She just sucks down that milk like she's starving. Then she goes back to sleep. Until around 4:00 as I'm getting off of work. And we feed her again. We're all gonna be really sad when she can eat on her own and Ashley doesn't bring her to work anymore.

I belong to a Yahoo group for Colombian adoptions and people keep posting about a "lista unica". No one really seems to know what it is but it is supposed to make the wait longer for referrals. I emailed the social worker in MN and she emailed the facilitator in Colombia. Cecelia emailed back that the government is trying to place Colombian babies with Colombians first. Domestically and also internationally. So a Colombian on the list will move right to the top and receive their referral first. She said that she doesn't think there are many Colombians on the waiting list so it probably won't have much of an effect. But it COULD possibly mean a longer wait for us. They (the ICBF) were supposed to meet yesterday with the private orphanages and she would find out more after that meeting. As of now I don't know what they discussed. Hopefully it won't affect us too much. We're already up to the middle of June if we receive our referral this week.

When I emailed the social workers about the this list I told them about my dream with the cat. They wanted to know if they could share that with all of the other social workers and other adopting families. I'm glad I amuse somebody!

Rob's at Saturday school today. Last one. Plus there are only three days of school left. I think he's just as ready as the kids. Graduation is tomorrow which means food at all the parties. I haven't felt like cooking lately so I'm pretty excited about this. My dinners this week were either macaroni and ketchup or macaroni and cottage cheese and mustard. One day I did put some garbanzo beans in the macaroni and ketchup for added nutritional value. It ruined the taste though so I won't be doing that again. So then yesterday I just ate the rest of the garbanzo beans for dinner. Then I was hungry around 1:30. Note to self. Eat more than garbanzo beans for dinner.

There is baby stuff all over!

Four wonderful women from Rob's school hosted a baby shower for us yesterday. Lots of people came, even men, but most of the men didn't last. It was golf night. It started at 3:30 and Rob was pretty sure he was going to be on the course by 4:00. The course is like ten miles from town. Obviously he's never been to a baby shower before! We got lots of great stuff. Some of the people made the CUTEST cake made of diapers. And then they attached little stuff to it with ribbon. I have no creative bones in my body so I was really amazed at the whole thing. My mom took pictures so as soon as I get one I'll post it and show all of you. So thank you to everyone who attended. We truly appreciate not only your gifts but also your support. :)

And you wonder why I'm a basketcase...

After reading this you will see why I'm so tired all the time and why I'm so freaked out.

Remember way back when, when I said that I have a penchant for odd dreams? They continue. Last night I dreamt that Rob and I had gone wherever we were going (I would guess Colombia but it didn't come up in my dream) and we were sitting in a stadium of some sort. They were calling number and called every number in a range except for mine. They told those people they would be going to the court house and getting approved to adopt and would then get their babies. So of course I freaked out because they didn't call my number. All for naught of course because pretty soon they called my number along with a whole bunch of other people's. And we all started going down the steps of the stadium, sort of like at the end of a football game and everybody is leaving. I lost Rob in the crowd but I saw I guy I work with, Todd, but not his wife. So then we were up to the building. I didn't go to court but I handed the director of the orphanage my ticket and he said my baby would be through the next door. I opened the door and there were a whole bunch of cages. Our name was on one so I opened it and my "baby" was a black cat with white spots. Sort of like Roscoe for those of you who knew him but with short hair. For those of you who don't know Roscoe, he is Billy and Bob's father, brother, uncle, grandfather... So I went to the director and said "there must be a mistake" and he told me that I signed a paper saying I would accept any baby they placed with us and this is our baby. I said that I could have stayed in South Dakota and gotten a free cat from the barn or paid a whole lot less to get one from the humane society and did he know how much I paid to adopt and all I got was a cat? Now, you all know I love cats. That isn't the point. But he told me that I could take the cat or leave it but I wouldn't get another baby and I wouldn't get my money back.

I realize this won't happen in real life but it just proves how much this is running through my brain. No wonder I'm losing it!

I'm truly carless now.

I said goodbye to my car tonight. It was actually kind of sad. I got it in 2003 when Rob left for active duty and I've basically lived in it ever since! Does anybody else get as attached to their cars as I do? After we traded my car off when we got married and got an Explorer, I saw someone driving it down 6th Avenue in Aberdeen one day. I about had an accident as I whipped my head around to check it out. For as attached as I get, I don't name them, though. So I was a little emotional as I cleaned it out tonight. The insurance company is coming to get it tomorrow. There is still water soaked in it and it smells pretty awful. I haven't really had good luck with my last two cars. Obviously this one hasn't turned out too well. The last one I ended up sticking some money into it as well when what I thought was a squirrel but actually was a rabbit kept chewing apart the wires that connected something to something else. TWICE! And then my transmission went out. And I got a new car. I'm seriously going to try to hold out for as long as I can on one vehicle. But sticking $70 in gas into Rob's pickup is a killer! This makes me sound really old but I remember back in 1991 as a freshman in college, a gas station in Vermillion had gas for $.88. It was right before Christmas and cars were lined up down the street. That was a huge price break from the $.99 it usually was. And today it's $3.19! Ugh....

Well, nothing else new to say. I'm having problems with my email so if you've emailed me recently and I haven't responded, I've received it (probably). I just can't respond to some domains. If you emailed me a long time ago and I still haven't responded, I will. I promise. I even emailed myself a list of names to email so I don't forget. I'm the sticky note queen so unless I have a note, I can't remember. And once (well probably more than once), not too many years ago, I made fun of my mom for having notes on the counter. Little did I know what was in store for me!

No news is not always good news

I know all of you are waiting for the day when my post tells you we've received good news. I wish I could say I had that news. I don't. I wish I could say we're waiting patiently. But we aren't. The more time passes, the more stressed I get. My anxiety level is through the roof and I'm edgy, nervous, ready to burst into tears at all times, and just not really in a very good mood. And then I start thinking "If I could just run across the street and hang out and drink coffee" or "It's nice out...wish I could go for a walk to the church and back" or "If I could just go shopping with someone who buys ten pair of black pants and returns all of them" I'd feel better. Love you guys.

So until we get "the call" I don't know how much I'll have to say. Be patient with me. I know you don't want to listen to my pity party so I think my posts will be sparse for a while.

We did find out the insurance company is classifying my car as "totaled". So now we're using one vehicle. We only had one day this week that we had a conflict but Rob just drove me to work and someone else brought me back to town. I tried riding my bike to work one day last summer. I thought I was gonna die so I'll never do that again.

On this very special weekend, Happy Mother's Day Mom, Sandy, Grandma, Georgia and all the other mom's in my life. I did get a very nice card today. It was a Mother's Day card for the Mom-To-Be. :) And the tears that came to my eyes were happy ones.

Rain rain go away...

We had an interesting weekend. Rob had guards on Friday and Saturday and then we went to the prom banquet at 6:00 on Saturday. We had some rain so I knew the weather wasn't very good. But when you're in a gym you can't see what's going on outside. In the middle of the banquet the tornado warnings went off. So we all went inside the locker rooms and waited. We finally got out of there and finished the banquet. Before the grand march even started the fire whistle went off. Rob took my keys and went to the fire. While they were checking things out (no fire...just smoke) it started pouring. Really bad. When he left the fire to come back to the gym the water was coming over the hood of my car it was so deep. So my car quit and he had to push it two blocks to the gas station. In the rain while the deep water ran in my car. After he dropped off my car he started walking and got about a block from the school when the fire whistle went off again. Someone picked him up this time. By the time he got back to the prom the grand march was over. He was totally wet, too. So he went home and changed and said the cat was freaking out. I went home and found water in the basement. Which of course is where we've stored all of our boxes. Empty and full. We were lucky though because other people had sewers back up in their basements. We just had water. All in all we had about nine inches of rain, a few tornados were spotted, and three fire calls. Sunday after guards Rob, his dad, and a friend of Allan's pushed my car to the shop the friend owns. It wasn't good news. There is a hole in my engine. So we're now working with the insurance company to get my car fixed. While he was looking at my car, the guards called to reactivate them to bag sand. Needless to say Rob really didn't have a pleasant weekend.

Drugs, drugs, and more drugs.

I'm on as many drugs now as I was when I was taking fertility drugs. I had so much fun giving myself various shots every day that I've taken it up again. My right arm now is the beholder of a tetanus vaccine and a hepatitis A vaccine. My left arm is filled with a yellow fever vaccine and a hepatitis B vaccine. The yellow fever one did sting pretty bad. I related the pain to getting a tattoo. It hurts worse in the flabby part. Needless to say I will never be getting an armband.

Plus we have taken two typhoid pills. Unfortunately I think the first one is invalid. Rob was watching the NFL draft on Saturday drinking a Corona, we'd been eating chips and taco dip all day (very healthy, I know), and gave him a pill and took one myself. THEN I read the directions. "Do not take pill within two hours of consuming food or alcohol." Oops.

Oh, the waiting....

It's driving me crazy! You'd think we have enough going on in our lives that I wouldn't think all day "Is today going to be the day?". But no. I still manage to fit that in. It's been a busy week...the governor was here on Wednesday night so we went to that banquet. Thursday night I taught piano lessons and then went to the National Honor Society banquet. Wednesday afternoon we had our appointment with the doctor regarding vaccines. He gave me a tetanus shot since it's been a very long time since I've had one and gave us both prescription pills for typhoid, malaria, and hepatitis A & B. PLUS we have to go to Sioux Falls today to have yellow fever shots. I could care less if we take most of those but Rob would rather have the shot than the disease. So we're working until 11:00, driving the 2 1/2 hours to SF, getting the shot, and driving the 2 1/2 hours home to work at the Parent Teacher carnival. Tomorrow is the golf course clean up day (and for me...the day to clean the house). Next week is the athletic banquet, prom, and Rob has guards. PLUS, we started grinding corn yesterday! It was pretty exciting. The three of us girls in the office decided to cook for this special day. Someone slap us the next time we think that. After the governor's dinner, I made a pan of banana bars and two pans of taco dip. I also cooked 10 pounds of sausage and Rob cracked 120 eggs. At 11:00 I took out the bars and taco dip and chips, along with all the supplies for breakfast burittos and the sausage in a crockpot to the plant. In my pajamas, by the way. This way, when I went home I could just crawl in bed and get up the next morning and not have to find something to wear. I had a huge brain lapse when I said "Sure, I'll do breakfast!". The crews work from 6 p.m. until 6 a.m. and then the next crew works from 6 a.m. until 6 p.m. To make sure the night crew got to eat, I got up at 4:00 to start scrambling eggs. I finished at 5:00 and took them out to the plant. I got home at 5:30 and thought "I wonder if it will be bad to go back to bed?". Yes, it was. Don't ever do that. My alarm went off at 6:00 and I hit the snooze until about 6:30 and still made it to work at 7:00. Very groggy and not looking very good, but I was here! And then the real day began! Donna and Ashley made smokies and chili for dinner and we had bars and taco dip and we ate and ate and ate and ate.

Do any of you watch "How I Met Your Mother"? The above paragraph reminds me of a few episodes ago when Ted was saying that Marshall and Lily tell each other EVERYTHING. Right down to "and then I brushed my teeth and after I brushed my teeth I went to the bathroom...".

So now I'm off to work. Still groggy and still not looking too hot. But I only have to work four hours today so that always makes things better! :)

Happy Birthday Rob!

Rob's birthday was Saturday so we went to my mom and dad's cabin for the weekend. Our idea was to relax and we can't really do that at home. There is always something to do. So we took some games and books and got just enough groceries to last us two days and off we went. It was around 80 degrees on Saturday but we didn't make it outside. I'd read and Rob would watch TV for two hours, we'd play two games of Backup, then we'd repeat the cycle. All day. I had an awful experience on Saturday afternoon. We had gotten two salads at HyVee that were ready to expire so they were really cheap. Both had turkey on them but I took mine off and put it on Rob's. All of the sudden, I knew that what I had just eaten wasn't cheese. It was a piece of turkey. And for as much as I tried not to be sick, I couldn't help it. The memory will be with me for a very long time. I didn't think that eating meat would make me sick like that but I know better now!

We got home around noon today and have been busy catchng up stuff around here. We got our travel info from the social worker so I've spent some time reading today. Maybe we'll get some good news this week!

Happy Birthday....

to my Dad and Kalla! We love you both!!!!

No news...

I figured I'd put that first since that's the question on everyone's mind! BUT, I am in a better mood than last time! :)

Rob had guards this weekend so he was pretty much out of commission. Saturday I accompanied kids at the junior high band contest and did laundry. Sunday I played for church and did laundry. See, I do know how to do laundry! Rob and I went for a bike ride Sunday evening and I thought I was going to pass out. I just can't keep up with him. He will definitely be pulling the baby carrier behind him and maybe that will slow him down a little! It really did make me wish the baby was here!

Speaking of which...I've never really been nervous during this whole process. I think it's because we've just been so busy with the whole thing. But now that we are SO CLOSE...I'm getting butterflies! Seriously! I just can't wait. We totally not ready but I just can't wait! :) I know we'll never be ready. There will always be something to do. And I truly feel unprepared. But this baby is coming whether I have stuff in my house or not! :) So bring it on!

We have a slight problem with the FBI prints...they haven't been processed yet. Totally my fault. I sent them FedEx over a week ago. They arrived in West Virginia at the FBI on Monday, April 9. I wrote on the cover letter that we are applying for an INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION but means nothing if they don't open the envelope! I didn't write ADOPTION on the outside of the FedEx envelope so they just throw them in a pile until they have time to do them. I didn't think I could write on the outside of the envelope! So when I called today to check the status, she told me they weren't even in the system yet and Rob would need to send an email to them requesting the prints be done ASAP. So I typed his email requesting that they process the prints either today or tomorrow and forwarded it to him, he sent it off, and now we wait. I'm a little nervous that his minor will show up this time even though it didn't three months ago.

I emailed the social worker yesterday on the status of our orphanage acceptance. I just didn't think her info was right. What do you know...it wasn't! She said that only one of the Colombian orphanages accepts the family after they receive the application...Los Pisingos. The others don't accept the family until after they receive the dossier. So then I questioned if our application had been submitted to the orphanage since it has been seven weeks sent it was sent down. She emailed back and said that she received our acceptance letter on March 22. It was just never sent to me.

So now I guess we're just waiting. And still trying to respond to some of the emails that I've received! I'm working on them. I promise. And I'll let you know as soon as we hear something!

Everybody send good vibes to the FBI!

We need FAST vibes...not just good vibes. The SW emailed today and said that the facilitator in Colombia said we'll need to redo the FBI prints. So I'm glad we went ahead and did it. I checked my FedEx account and the prints have not been sent out from West Virginia yet. Once they get here I need to have them notorized and then sent to the state to be apostilled. I can get that done in one day. I should get them back from the state the next day and I can turn around and send them to MN to the SW. Of course it always seems to take her a few days to do her part so I know this is going to drag on for another week. I'm grumpy...can you tell??? So anyway, she said they won't present our dossier to the orphanage until we have that form there and we won't receive our orphanage acceptance until a few weeks after they have received our dossier. So much for our one to two month time frame as of February 27. :(

Oh the passport fairy has looked favorably upon us! :)

This morning I noticed that the website said that Rob's passport had been sent. We went out for supper tonight with Rob's secretary and her husband and when we came home it was propped up in the door! So I have to copy the passport and send it to the SW in MN. We're still waiting to get the FBI prints back. They arrived at the FBI headquarters in West Virginia today. I don't know how long it will take them to be processed. We're inching closer!

We had a nice Easter. Rob took some kids to a national AAU wrestling tournament in Detroit. They left on Wednesday and got home Sunday morning. I went to my mom and dad's on Saturday morning. We went out for supper with some friends, Sunday went to church, and then went to my brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner. We went to visit my grandma in the afternoon. Rob got up there around 3:00. We got home around 8:00. It was a good time.

Since it was winter when Kramer died we couldn't bury her. My parents kept her in the Morton building until it started getting warm out then my dad's cousin (a taxidermist) took her to his freezer. I buried her on Saturday. It was very sad and brought up a lot of emotions that I don't deal with on a daily basis. I really miss her. I swear sometimes I can feel her snuggle her head up to mine like she did when I got home from work and she took a minute to show me some love before she turned wild. I still don't understand. But there are lots of things in life that I don't understand.

I emailed the SW in MN yesterday and she told me that I was confused...she never said that we were second overall. We are second with LSS. Maybe there was a misundestanding when I asked, but I specifically asked her that question and she said overall. So now we're back to being second again. The couple ahead of us hasn't gotten their referral yet. The couple that DID get their referral is working with Bethany and they flew down to Bogota yesterday and received their baby today. I'm so jealous! I can't wait! So I really have no idea where we're at or when to expect anything.

It looks like we're in the middle of a blizzard again. The half of a foot of snow we got last week just melted yesterday. While the rain and snow doesn't make it very conducive to semis bringing in loads of corn, we're really getting close to start up. I am excited to know that I'll be around to see it!

Passport Jackpot!

Well, I had to lie but it worked. I happened to call the number this morning around 6:30. Right away I knew it was going to be a good day when I got a different message. Sure enough it told me to stay on the line for the next available representative! AND I waited less than a minute. The rep got on the line and of course she wanted to know if this passport was for me and I said that it was for my husband. She said that due to privacy laws she couldn't tell me anything. And I knew that. She wanted to know if she could talk to Rob and I figured that him being gone on a military trip would seem better than if I told her the truth and said he was gone to a wrestling tournament in Detroit! So she said that it's still being processed and that it has two more weeks to go. She told me that I WILL be leaving on April 13 so she is going to expedite the passport, they will overnight it, and we should have it in the next few days. I'm pretty sure we won't be leaving on April 13 but if she has to say it to get our passport here, I'll take it.

Well my vegetarian hands survived.

I took a whole bunch of Saran Wrap and wrapped them around my hands and taped them shut so they were sorta like gloves. It worked perfectly. I didn't have to touch the meat although I could feel it squishing in my hands. That was bad enough. I told Rob he owed me BIG TIME! Our friend Rahn says that my veggie burger tastes like range cake or cow candy (I have no idea what's in it but cows love it). I totally disagree. (I know this because my brother dared me to eat it.) Rob even admits they don't taste too bad. And it's not nearly as digusting to think about. I'm totally doing the carb thing tonight...mashed potatoes and toast. Who needs meat when you have potatoes and bread!?

Still no passport. I sent another email on Tuesday, pretending to be Rob of course. I must not sound desperate enough. Or maybe they've seen Rob's passport picture and realize he's 6'4" and 275 pounds and I sound too desperate. I always think I'm going to call Senator Johnson's office in Aberdeen over my lunch hour but I spend my lunch hours practicing with junior high kids for the upcoming band contest.

Today's my mom and dad's anniversary. Love ya. :)

You know, when we were trying to get pregnant, I've never felt more alone in my life. Even though I'm extremely close to my parents, my brothers are not just my brothers, they're my friends, their wives have been my family as long as I can remember, I'm close enough to my nieces and nephews they could be my brothers and sisters, I have my best girl friends, and I have my best friend...my husband, I truly felt alone. My friends became pregnant the first time and again and sometimes even again. People I didn't like got pregnant again and again and again! And even though someone very close to me dealt with infertility as well, I truly felt alone. It wasn't jealousy. It was a sadness over what I didn't have. And now I find it amazing at the number of people who have dealt with infertility as well. They were around me all the time. I have this bond with people all over because of infertility. People I know and people I don't know. People whose blogs I read. I don't know them but I feel like I do. And whether it's because of the strength of my family ties or my belief in God or my realization that there is a child out there that needs us as much as we need him or her, I don't feel alone anymore.